If he doesn't talk to me now, will it only get worse??

[TheDevilsWilly]

My partner and I are currently in talks about moving in together sometime soon. Thing is, I'm starting to have second thoughts but it seems like the least time he has to spend with me, the better in his eyes.

For instance, he only lives 5 minutes away in car yet he never comes to see me. He never phones me (I think he's phoned me twice in the past 2 months), never texts ...

He arranged a token day out each week in which he sees me, takes me for lunch or something and then makes a point of saying he won't bother going on msn or anything as he's already seen me. Its like he's saying god forbid I have to speak to her anymore than I need to.

But then he's asking me to stay over at his house for the weekend with the kids and doesn't want me to go home when I'm there but he still doesn't do or say much when I am there. He'll sit watching TV for hours for instance, hardly speaking a word to me. Last time we were watching a comedy film and I said something to him and he said "yeah, you really need to pay attention to this movie or you won't understand what's going on"

Last night he really annoyed me. I'd had a really shit day, felt really down and had waited from to go on msn since 9pm (when he said he'd be on). He signs on at 10pm makes a bit of small talk ... when I tell him I'm feeling really crap he basically gave me the customary "aww, wish I could give you a hug" thing and then changed the subject to say what score he'd got on a facebook game.

10.50pm he said he was going to sign off and as he'd spoken to me then, he wouldn't bother signing on the night after. ffs ... it's not as if he does anything else with his time. He reckons he's sat at home bored all night.

Last time I got pissed off with him and I decided not to turn msn on at all one night. I got a text at 11.50pm asking if I was going to sign on I ignored it and went to bed. Next day he phoned to see how I was and why I wasn't on msn

Am I being unreasonable here? he wants me to move in with him but makes out that he can't stand talking to me anymore than he has to at the best of times!!

Are you looking for serious responses here?

Re-read your OP. I think you'll be able to come up with the answer yourself, tbh

Good luck

Really, there is no future in this relationship if he doesn't want to talk to you.
Move on!

What is he going to do when you live together? "Oh I'll sit in the bedroom tonight, as we sat together in the lounge watching a film last night".

I wouldn't have the patience to put up with that, whatever his reasoning for it. Just doesn't seem like an intimate enough relationship to even be considering living together.

Has he always been a bit of a loner?

He's obviously very used to and comfortable with his own company, and resents what he sees as unwelcome intrusions. Do you really want to live with a man like that? Move on, and find someone who cares.

How long have you actually been together?.

Not at all surprised reading your post that you are having second thoughts. What are his reasons for you moving in?. Would not move in with this man under any circumstances.

Why though are you actually together, why haven't you called time on this relationship?. What are you getting out of this?. You must be getting something out of this, but what exactly?.

Have you ever met any of his family, work colleagues or friends?. If not, that would be a red flag too.

I thinkhe wants someone to be there for company and to wash and cook but doesn't want to actually put any effort int o meet your needs, tell him to find some other mug!

Don't move in with him. He wants laundry, houseworke, cooking and sex on tap and isn;t prepared to make any effort.

Step away from the MSN. Maybe I am the only one but I think that living 5 mins apart and communicating thru MSN a little bit strange. Why not call or pop around? I know that is the issue, I just can't find an explanation as to why your situation is like that.

Anyway, you also seem to be the one 'waiting' around on him, that doesn't seem right either. You shouldn't be spending your time waiting on him to sign in, wishing he would call etc etc. Where's the passion, dying to see you, dying to talk to you etc etc.

Walk away. Don't move in with this guy, he sounds a little bit strange.

he wants to be a cocklodger, and doesn't want a real relationship with you. moving in would be a BIG mistake.

I agree with solidgold

Do you really have children - to be honest to put up with that crap you don't seem old enough, either of you - my 15 year old neice has a more rounded relationship with her boyfriend (obviously minus the sex!)

He doesn't want to be in your company now, why on earth would you move in with him?

Asked DH for a male opinion, and he thinks you shouldn't do it either.

Dont move in with him, don't even have anything more to do with him.

What a loser. You sound lovely - find someone who's more deserving of your time and effort.

Sounds to me like hes only putting the bare minimum in, yet expecting a lot out, presumable he expects sex after ignoring you by watching the tv all night ?

Clearly hes having this " relationship" with you on his terms, sees you when he wants to and thats it.He,ll be thinking all his christmases have come at once !

He sounds like a real loser, get rid and find yourself someone who can treat you properly.

Oh, and do a little work on your self esteem before you end up with someone who's actively malevolent rather than complacent, selfish and lazy, next time. Why on earth would you be prepared to put up with this sort of behaviour? He can't have been that good a shag.

tbh I can't really understand why you refer to him as your partner...

sounds more like a casual acquaintance you annoys you.

I think its a bit wierd arranging times to go on msn and chat - and you sat there waiting for him to sign on.

Maybe he just wants his evenings to himself and not infront of the pc screen - if he is a man of few words then he won't want to be typing them night after night.