This has played on my mind since the weekend. Some of my mum friends and our kids went for a bbq at another's house while her DH was out at the pub for his usual afternoon session.
It seems that he is fine with her having friends round while he is out but when he comes back doesn't seem to like it.
She is a lovely woman but can seem sometimes a bit subservient and does seem to model the traditional marriage. She was going on earlier in the afternoon about how lucky she was with her H etc. As if she was almost grateful. IMO people who do this (I have another friend who does this and she is in a really crap marriage) are almost trying to convince themselves IYKWIM.
Her DH comes back and the atmosphere gets quite frosty. This is complicated by her teenage DD who cosies up to her dad on sofa.
The host (by now quite pissed) says her DH had said that something should have been done at a certain time. We make excuses to leave and she starts begging us to stay.
Really difficult situation. Her H makes no conversation with us.
As we did leave my friend said you know she's going to get it now - I said what do you mean physically or verbally or both. My friend replied both.
Then another person said that the teenageDD stirs things up. I actually don't buy that I would imagine they are all under the control of the moody H.
I have been in emotionally abusive marriage but to actually see it from the other side was truly shocking.
It was the eggshells bit which was so awful and how uncomfortable we all felt.
I know there isn't much I can do for the host but what a crap situation.