wheres his sex drive gone!?

[sophieandbelly]

hi there,

i need advice, ive been with my partner 4.5 yrs we r very much in love,we always had an amazing sex life 4-5 times a week a least, even wen preg (well for most of it!) we have an 18month old.

after i had my child i like most women found sex very painful ( due to terrible stitches etc) i did try and work thro it so after 3 months we were having sex all be it painful ish! not as often as b4 but 1 a week i would say.

after 6 months i felt i had healed and was ready to get our sex life bit more active , mayb not as much as b4! but 3 times a week would b a happy medium,

he then was just a bit whatever bout it said dnt feel like it etc, money worries at the time, so i thought ok ok, give it a while some weeks were not having sex at all,then wen things picked up money wise i said mayb we should try and get back in the habbit again,
he agreed as wen we did have sex was still very good etc, but still nothing seemed to change, its was and is always me making the move and there is only so many times u can b rejected.
he always said that with pervious girlfriend the arguments started wen the sex dwindled etc and always wanted someone with high sex drive etc, his was way higher than mine! so he knows how this feels!
wen i met him i was just over 15 stone and our sex life was great, then i lost 3.5 stone and sex stayed the same still great, 18 mnths after heving baby iam 13 ish so i dont think its thats hes not attracted to me.
if i try and get him in the mood says ooo ur a sex maniac etc, which iam not!! iam 25 years old and would just like to b having sex a couple of times a week is that so bad!
i feel as tho i want to talk to him again about this, i feel as tho it the only thing in my life that isnt where it should b,
we r very affectionate with each other he always tells me he loves me and is really happy etc.
just think if i bring it up again he will go off on one, and we will end up arguing, iam scared this is going to start to cause problems i dont feel as tho i can settle for having sex 2-3 a month wen iam so young!
i also think if i moan he will be comming on to me cos he thinks he should not cos he want to, do u no wot i mean, help!!!

I'm sorry; I find this almost impossible to read.

helpful?

I think the best thing to do would be talk to him. You can bring it up in a way that would not be confrontational. There could be a few things that may be affecting him.

I had a similar thing with my DH. He was embarrassed to talk about it (we also shared a room with DD for 6 months so that had an impact on him). Turned out, he was seeing me as the mother of his child and not the fun outgoing, sexy wife I was before we had kids. Even though I was a little upset with this, I heard him and saw his points. We started making time for each other by making dinner after DD went to bed, lighting candles, talking a lot, having a glass of wine together, and getting FIL to watch DD at least twice a month so we could go out. This had a huge impact on us and we were back to being love sick puppies in no time.

All in all, talk to him. It won't get better if you don't talk.

Are you sleeping together every night? Is he off wanking instead?

yes we r going to bed together, and ur right just have to find a way of talking calmly bout this.
hope its just a tep thing! thank u for ur replyemmasbe xx