How do you model healthy relationship behaviours to your children when you are a lone parent?

[Scrumplet]

I've followed a few threads on here lately which have highlighted how significant the relationship between two parents is in teaching their children about relationship dynamics. And of course, depending upon the health of the relationship, what children soak up can vary wildly between the great and the grim.

So if you are a lone parent or a co-parent, and therefore possibly not in a position to demonstrate to your kids an example of a 'good' relationship, how do you best equip them for being able to find and maintain healthy relationships themselves, in their adult lives?

Of course it's better to be out of an abusive or serially unfaithful or otherwise damaging relationship, even if that means breaking up a family. But how do you fill that teaching-healthy-relationships-by-osmosis void?

Well, model healthy interaction between yourself and other people, ie politeness, fairness, consideration, respect for yourself and others.
Couple-relationships are not the only, or even the most important, kind of relationships human beings have with one another. And all relationships (be that friendships, romantic relationships, family relatinships or professional ones) should be based on a healthy dynamic of respect, kindness, fairness etc - teach 'em that and they won't go wrong.

Thanks, solid. Wise words.

I live in an everyone's-happily-married kind of community, and it's easy to get swept into thinking it's the only way. But you're right - of course it isn't, and at least a few of those 'happy' marriages will be at least a bit dysfunctional I'm sure.

There's certainly a bit of room for improvement in my other relationships I reckon, so I'll concentrate on these.

i do think there's certainly things you should avoid as a LP

i certainly think bringing home a succession of men into the home to meet the dc straight off is not good.

a LP should definately wait until they are sure of the nm/nw before any introductions and sleepovers when dc are there.

this is as much from a safety aspect as an emotional one.

But even if a LP never takes on a new partner. the dc will still see other relationships through friends parents, relatives, etc. of course some of them wont be great examples. but some will.

i think as long as you do as solid says. teach them on the general basics of how they should treat anyone(not just partner), will set them on good steadings

The only person I know well who was brought up by a mother who didn't have any significant sexual relationsips is himself in one of the longest and seemingly happiest relationsips I know of. His mum obviously managed to model genereal healthy relationships very well.

Something you should definitely avoid is putting up with crap from someone just in order to be able to say you have a partner. Single mums who feel that being single isolates them and who are therefore a bit desperate for a partner are prime targets for abusers and cocklodgers, so remember, couplehood is NOT compulsory and it;s far better to be single than to be with an arsehole - that;s a very important lesson to teach children.

oh lol at solid
i do like that word 'cocklodgers'
what she's said makes lots of sense
i bring my dc up with the old 'treat others as you'd like to be treated yourself' line
and yes i also agree and do not bring home my fellas for them to meet
admittedly it does make things diff. for my own personal needs iyswim
but i am not willing to allow them to meet any old tom,dick or harry