Anyone finding out their boyfriend isnt quite the great guy you at first thought ??????

[maltesers]

Do you have that problem....?? Where he seemed so nice at first and then you realise it not quite coming together as you imagined. Whether its co he has a temper or is just less interested in you than you thought and is more interested in playing golf and drinking in the pub ????

Are you having problems with your boyfriend?

I think quite a few women find themselves in this situation. Anything going on with you like this?

Well, I think once you get over that first flush of lust/love, you start to see things you'd missed before, and neither of you are trying as hard to impress each other.

If you don't like who he is when you get to the 'comfortable' stage, then best to admit it and move on.

Unfortunately I got married before I realised my XH was a workaholic with no sex drive who preferred the company of casual acquaintances to me!

Well, no one is perfect, and most people when they start dating/shagging someone new are on their best behaviour. However, some faults are tolerable (snoring, flatulence, embarrassing hobbies, shit taste in music) others are not (misogyny, violence, major dishonesty).
What's your chap doing, then?

It's called reality Can act like a cold shower, but if the faults aren't too awful you can get over it. I did If you can't there's not much hope I'm afraid.

I like your style solidgold. I agree that once the flush of romance has passed, folks are rarely perfect, male or female.

My first bf was, but that's perhaps with the advantage of 20-odd years behind me and a pair of natty rose tinted glasses. I'm sure if we'd lasted past 12 months, I'd have got tired of his chiselled good looks and his perfection in everything.

As it was I spent the whole time not quite believing he was going out with me, so maybe it's best if they do have flaws???

Aren't you the areobics instrucotr Maltesers?
I remember you talking about leaving your dh.

Sure;ly it gets harder to compromise as you grow older.If dh popped his clogs, not sure I could ever put up with anyone else.The odd shag yes, but nooone on the scene permanently.
Urrgh.

Well, I have a BF now - two and half years - and I didn't quite 'get' him at first. Thought he was lovely and everything but I was waiting for the big 'crunch'. It hasn't come.

I think the secret is, not seeing to much of each other, not expecting too much of each other, not sharing too much together .

For me that suits me fine. We see each other about two weekends a month, it's enough time to get missing one another and enough time to 'gag' for each other. Two and a half years actually down the line, with him, I really am comfortable with the package. It suits my lifestyle, my erratic work hours, he's not poking around in my life and I don't have to accomodate him too much and it seems it is good for him as well. We always have lots to chat about, laugh about and discuss. Theres not too many lingering phonecalls and wondering as to whereabouts. We rarely argue and get nasty and the borders of repect are firmly in place.

It all depends on what your expectations are. Mind you, I am at that point in life where I have done it all - got the T-shirt etc.. I just enjoy this for what it is, and he never leaves me anything to wash or iron or look after (exept for myself) and I am very happy with that. It all depends on what you want out of a relationship, and where you want to end up with it.

Yup

My XP turned into a major twat

But the potentiual was already there

potential

Damn fat fingers through eating chocolate as a replacement for sex

sounds like a journalist looking for stories?
Gawd, I am never this cynical!
Maltesers, you there?

Kally, this is what I want in a relationship.Sounds perfect to me.

I'm with you on that one, moony. I just couldn't be arsed.