is it time to leave

[wishfulthinking3]

I really dont know where to start but I feel that either I have come to an end with dh in our relationship or I going through some kind of depression. Weve been married over 20 years always had debts never ever had it easy always skimping and saving.
Dh is so kind and gentle and very generous brilliant with the dcs but I still dont feel I am being loved we have lost that spark. When he gets home has dinner and is on computer till he goes to bed no conversation at all, no compliments or affection, no sex, never treats me if he does its my suggestion wont come up with idea himself. All I ask is for him to say how was your day? what did you do today? a hug now and then or to sit down and watch something and comment about the programme nothing all I get is whats for dinner? and good night. am I asking for too much?

I have stopped dressing and looking after myself want to sleep all the time, I feel miserable all the time and start crying for no reason at all. I AM FED UP

It sounds like a rut rather then the end. Have you tried 'dating' each other? You both get dressed up, meet each other somwhere and, over a glass of wine or three, get to know each other again. You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel. He can't read your mind.

I feel that all I am to him is the slave of the house that cooks and cleans. I just want to be appreciated more and be shown more affection

I ve told him so many times Ifeel like a parrot he just stares at me and thinks I going crazy does not understand me

You need to tell him. Get him to take you out, get dressed up. He won't know if there's a problem unless you tell him.

Hmm. I'm not surprised you're pissed off. Have you tried relate?

I'd go on strike. I hate doing all the housework and cooking. It would drive me nuts! There's nothing like going on holiday and leaving them to it for a couple of weeks for the appreciation penny to drop.

Wishful - laugh at me if I've got the wrong end of the stick, but does any of the behaviour here ring a bell for you?

I feel like going on strike sometimes but have small kids who need looking after . I try to make small talk but he pretends he didnt hear I end up shouting hey wall I asked you how you were or the question I asked him and then he lift his head up and says what did you say I say oh I was not speaking to I was speaking with the walls and then he replys to me oh I thought you didnt hear me how come your answering my question now I say

He's taking the piss. A nice holiday's in order, take the children with you, hide all the plates, clean out the fridge. He'll survive.

I'm off to bed but will have a think. Night.

Thanks for replys night night I off too
the dreadpirateroberts some do ring a bell I have now lost my confidence I am very nervy and paranoid about the smallest thing and feel very worthless

Wishful - off to bed now myself. Maybe post something on that thread and see what people say? He may just be a lazy-arse slob - other people's perspectives might help you clarify your thoughts?

Hope you work it out.

dreadpirate you have named it one he is a lazy arse slob and is scared to lift a finger to help and is always thinking of himself very very selfish I going to bed now night night

Well, you do sound depressed, but I'm not surprised given that you are being ignored and not appreciated.
Go and see the GP and get the depression sorted out, then once you are feeling stronger you can decide if your relationship can be salvaged.