is it me who has just got it wrong?

[kenty]

over five years back i met my husband,he had been mainly brought up by his aunties and his nana,his mum was only 17 and in and out of trouble,he loves his aunties and nana dearly.his mum we tried to have a relationship with when our daughter was born she did make an effort and my husband was impressed how she was with our daughter,within six months alarm bells started to ring,over the last four years we have tried differant ways of contact mainly for our daughter.this is what she has done over the five years with not an ounce of fantasy,she has a drink prob,smokes weed,has threatened to kill a baby in an argument outside with the parent,threatened to stab her sister infront of their younger children,told us she would kidnap our children if the rest of the family didnt stop seeing them,covered my daughters mouth so i didnt hear her cry in the night,asked my daughter to hold her breast whilst she washed in the bath,grabbed a 14 year olds breast at a family meal,has been left beaten in hos by her partener on hol which she wanted to take our daughter on,threatened all her family, is violent and beat my husband as a child ,now before you think am i real, my children were never left with her unsupervised and we had the old chestnut shes changed rammed down our throats and she just says these things but doesnt mean it!now the family are reunited for the fifth time in the five years i have known them and we are in the wrong for not allowing any contact with our children.is it me!!!! soz its along one x

stay the hell away from her, she sounds in desparate need of professional help.
i would stop any contact with her untill she could prove to you and you were 110% completely satisfied she really had changed.

there is a mountain size more i could add,she has tried to split me and my husband up,has talked to our daughter telling her she doesnt need any other family,she says i never bonded with my daughter am an unfit parent !!!! she is just like a shameless character but not funny

Agree with pokeydot. Some people like that do not change and you need proof that she can at least contain herself when it comes to you, DH and your children.

Unfortunately, people like that also seem to think that they do not have a problem, that the world is treating them unfairly and they don't see that they are responsible for their own actions. They see that everyone else has the problem and often don't connect their behaviour with the fact that others don't want to spend time with them.

holy g,you met her then!i could kiss you,(the sun is out and am in hugh spirits ,soz)this is why i go on here for an opinion thats not emotionaly involved because i do wonder what we must do wrong

Haha, no not met her but I do have a colourful family background myself. Someone is going to come and mention the word toxic so I might as well say it

Your MIL sounds toxic and whilst she herself refuses to see that she has any problem, the best you can do is spend as little time as possible with her or none at all. Until she recognises that she has a problem, she won't change and that is fact, unfortunately.

we have't had any contact for almost a year,now the mil has decided to go through the courts to gain visitation rights,to which our solicitor has said we must take action to stop her,my only concerns are we know all this stuff happened and a hell of alot more ,we did have police involvement a year ago and she was warned we didnt want any contact again and that if she persisted with the threats she would be arrested,we know she was arrested in th last ten years for a violent incident with her partener,i bet he dint press charges ,but all the twenty years or more crap that she put everyone in her path through, isnt documented she hasnt had any health diagnosis and i dont know how much the courts would believe because like i said her family said shes changed now and she dont mean it when my husband wet himself because she punched him that hard in the stomach when he was in his late teens,this only stopped when she left all the family and ran off with her childhood sweetheart!

has anyone been through this and if you have wha sort of things could i expect?