Exp has not turned up to see dd and I cannot contact him???

[notoverit]

Ok this is abit of a long story, but exp and I are going to court over access to dd, but I spoke to him recently and agreed to let him see dd once, but after that it should all be done throught the contact centre, which he agreed to.

He then said his solicitors are taking ages so can he please see her again. I agreed and was meant to meet him on Saturday. DD was very ill thursday night so I tried to call him Friday, he text back saying he is busy with work and is everything ok?

I then tried to call him a few hours later but his phone was off. And I have been trying from then but it is still off. He has got another mobile too which is also switched off.

He can be unreilable but he really wanted to see dd, so I am wondering where he is. It cannot be that he lost both phones so that cannot be an excuse.

He recently had to g to court because of violence to me, so I should not be speaking to him as he has got bail conditions. But we have been speaking. So now I do not know what to do, I know it has only been a couple of days but I am finding it very strange as he was desperate to see dd as he has only seen her once in months.

I not sure if I should try to call some of his friendsto find out if he is ok? But they might find it strange as he went to court recently because of the way he treated me.

just leave it, don't breach his bail conditions anymore.

I know but now I am worried about him.

Why are you worried about him? He's your expartner, relax the control a bit. It's the job of his friends and family to see if he is OK.
Stop hassling the guy and respect his bail conditions, although he maybe thought you were making the illness up and using it as an excuse to stop him seeing your daughter. Odd he didn't just turn up on Sat anyway, but if his bail conditions say he shouldn't be speaking to you at all maybe he's seen sense.

I'm not hassling him, he is the one that always calls and texts me. But I know we shouldn't be in contact because of the bail conditions.

I didn't even get to tell him dd was unwell, so as far as he knew he was still going to see her. So I am worried because I dont think he would just not turn up or call to cancel as he really wanted to see her.

If he shouldn't be in contact then he shouldn't be in contact and you should respect that and not try getting his bail conditions breached by offering to let him see your daughter when you know he shouldn't. It sounds as though you both have been playing games.
He's now respecting his bail conditions, that shouldn't be worrying but a relief that he's started behaving like an adult.

Maybe he broke his bail conditions and has been sent to jail? My ex suddenly went quiet, ok and behold, I got a letter from him from prison!!

I dont see why you would think he would be happy to break his bail conditions by calling me and talking rubbish on the phone.And he has been asking alot to see dd as he misses her alot, but when I say yes he can see her he would then be an adult and stop breaking his bail conditions?

It doesn't make sense to me that he would just not turn up and not call to say he could not make it when he misses dd so much.

And I have tried to call him and his phones are switched off. So do you think he did that just to respect his bail conditions?

ilovetiffany - were his bail conditions not to contact you? and were you still in contact?

I'm just confused as I know he was so keen on seeing dd.

No. It was different. But I'd be thinking he maybe has had another brush with the law?only you can guess at that? Could be anything really.

I dont think he would have got in any more trouble with the law. I really dont know, maybe he has been arrested because h missed his sentencing date, but it was very very likly he would only get community service, so not sure if they would really take him to prison for it, but maybe they would for missing court?

Leave it - he went to court as he was violent towards you, surely that meant that you pressed charges? Now you decide to be concerned for his well being. Let him look after himself, you look after yourself and your DD. IMO your leaving the door wide open for complications by just having contact with him let alone granting him time with you and your DD.

Yes I pressed charges. I know i am such a confused mess, and I am making all the wrong decisions. Now I am worrying aout him, even though he treated me like crap, I feel like such a fool.