My brother is 26. He seems younger though, because he is the baby of the family, and because my mum always babied him (still did his washing when he'd left home, always cooked extra for him etc etc ).
Anyway. Dh and I moved abroad last year. Bro would like to visit, but the air fairs are steep.
He works, but not in a high paying job.
I sent him an email, saying if he did want to come and see us some time, would he like us to contribute £100 to his flight, instead of giving him a birthday / Christmas present this year? (we wouldn't normally spend that on him, but I'd like to see my bro).
He didn't reply. In the end I asked him if he got my email.
First, he said yes, but he'd come and see us off his own back thanks.
Okay, fine. He's being proud. Fine. Except that he wouldn't ever come if it was off his own back.
I said okay, but it wasn't charity, it was instead of a b'day / Xmas prezzie, plus it was because it was our fault for moving away and we'd like to see him. Left it up to him. No pressure, but the offer stands if he does want to take us up on it.
He's sent me this arsey email all about how he doesn't know if he'll be able to pay his next bill "or buy food tomorrow", so he's sorry if he can't commit to big spending plans way in the future. The whole thing is calculated to make me think he's in dire straits and feel guilty that I'm frittering away 'pennies' on air fairs.
BUT he's spending bloody hundreds of pounds on tattoos. He's out drinking most nights. He buys dvds whenever he feels like it. He sold 2 cars for my Granny and didn't give her the money.
His money is his to spend on whatever he likes. He is single with no children and as such can piss the lot up against a wall every month, but why does he have to make me feel bad for offering to contribute a bit towards him coming to see us?
£100 is not pennies to us, it's a reasonably big deal.
He can be an arse sometimes.