Don't expect replies, just want to write it down really.
last year she rang me basically to have a go at me, my parenting, my relationship with my family, and a lot of stuff that didn't make much sense and wasn;t true/ relevant as she hadn't been to visit for over a year.
There was an exchange of emails in which she maintained a cold, lofty air of superiority and I swore at her (eventually after much attempting to repair the argument). Have not heard since apart from a Christmas present for my children, and possibly for me, and I sent her and her partner stuff as well. We sent thankyou letters, they didn't.
She's deigned to visit this weekend as she has a friend;s christening to go to here. Well, she contacted mum and is visiting mum, that is - except mum isn't even there as she's across the country at a family birthday do (rare).
I only knew she was coming because mum told me. Sister hasn't got in touch (she sent the boys some tokens last week, which was nice)and I didn't want to but ds1 was desperate to see her so I let him ring mum's house this evening. She spoke to him for a few minutes, he was asking again and again if he could come round or if they could come here - eventually I got passed the phone, and we had a short conversation during which she was still utterly cold and haughty and wouldn't give an inch when I tried to inject a little humour or friendliness.
She has said we can go round tomorrow evening when my parents are back, but I know that'll be hard for my parents as they'll be knackered - or else will see ds Monday evening after school. He was quite upset, he's only five and gets on well with her but she's just not seen him for nearly two years now. It makes me so mad that she's avoiding my kids just because she's got some chip on her shoulder about me - especially as it's all about them and how badly I bring them up, when she does have a go at talk to me.
It's so hypocritical...criticising my parenting while staying markedly absent from their lives herself.
It's not as though I even know why she turned against me last year - it doesn't make sense, I didn't do anything different that I can think of, and we used to get on quite well, have a good giggle etc.
The only thing that happened was she got married.
Part of me wonders if it was really me or jsut possibly, whether her new partner (she married another woman) is actually having an impact on this - she's avoiding our parents more than ever (previous good relationship) and now me as well. Nobody can do a thing right.
Maybe it took finding her partner to enable her to break away from us all, or maybe (and I don't think mum will countenance this) her partner is actually putting subtle pressure on her not to see us?
Partner is Ok as far as I can tell, but very shy, rarely talks on the phone to any of us, rather possessive and gets upset if sister travels which sister does all the time. I'd hate to think my sis was under some kind of duress.
I jsut feel so disappointed as I was looking forward to seeing her with my children again, she is great with kids - she also hinted a while ago that she was upset at not having any herself (partner doesn't want to adopt, use donor etc) so maybe this is behind it.