Should he not be jumping at the chance to see me?

[neva]

I've been seeing lovely bf for 5 months.

We get an opportunity to spend a whole night together once a fortnight when my dd goes to her dad's. However, he only invites me to spend a small number of these nights with him - meaning we have only ever spent a handful of nights together.

It's happening again this weekend; another missed opportunity. Feeling so sad and cross I can hardly bring myself to respond to his cheery text inviting me to meet him Sunday morning rather than Saturday evening as I had hoped!! I suppose I'll end up, however, sending him an equally cheery text back happily agreeing to meet him Sunday am.

Am I being unreasonable? Is it possible this is happening due to him misunderstanding my expectations? Should I raise it with him, and if so, how? Thanks.

Why do you not ask him to stay over? Maybe he is disappointed you haven't asked him!

text his back suggesting Sat evening instead. Why can't you invite him to spend the nights with you?

Um, agree with previous posts ie why don't you ask him to stay with you and arrange to do something local to on the sunday (walk, pub etc)?

Perhaps he doesn't want to appear too forward?

Mears - can't invite him here as (grown up) dd will be here. He's not met children yet and I know he won't come here unless we have house to ourselves.

Ok... you can't invite him to your place but I still think its best to talk about it otherwise it'll simply eat at you. Its not fair to pretend things are fab if he doesn't have a scooby whats going on in your head.

It seems a shame to let this become an issue if everything else is great between you...

That does sound strange. You would think he'd jump at the chance to spend Sat night with his new gf. Can you casually ask him what he is doing Sat night instead? Keep it light hearted.

neva. He sounds just like the bf of my elder sister. Her children are grown-up, as are his, yet he often missed out on romantic nights in with her. Maybe he is just not ready for any more commitment yet? Why not ask him, then decide whether its enough for you if it continues for much longer. My sister had this situation for a year, bf is diffrent now, she told me the other day she can't get rid of him now .

What I'd really like is to open a discussion on this with him; but in a way that doesn't sound like I'm complaining, or make him feel obliged to see me, just to keep me happy...I want to understand what his thinking is.

beanie35, you might be right about the commitment thing. It's almost as though he's decided he's not going to see me more than x amount in any week.

On the other hand as broken flipflop says, it might be the not wanting to seem too forward thing. Confused!

I suppose I'd be intrigued to know what he was up to on Saturday but thats only cos im nosey (not necessarily suggesting you ask him!). Does he have a regular 'boys night out' type thing for instance? He may be keen on you but simply be trying to maintain a balance between his mates/or hobbies and you?

Whats he like personality wise ie is he a complete gentleman ie wouldnt want you to feel as if he was pushing you in to getting it on every single time you're available?
Is he shy? Is he very forth right regarding what he wants??

He doesn't drink at all, and not a boys' night out type either. Yes, he is a gentleman. Not really shy, but maybe conscious of not appearing too pushy. On the other hand, rather independent, so possibly not keen to lose that by creating an expectation in me of seeing him every time I'm free.

do you see him during the week?

am nosey here neva
how did you meet him?
what's his background?
should be able to help if i know more

what else does he do on Saturday nights? Is there any chance, god forbid, that he is also playing the field, a bit? would you know? How serious is the relationship?

Yes, if I haven't been to his place at the w/e he may invite me there weekday eve (involving a long journey for me). Think he wants to keep things romantic and light-hearted. Survival technique for w/e's alone; keep busy doing enjoyable stuff, meet people, do loads of exercise, end the day too exhausted to mope around missing him!!

Just text back that you are also free on the Saturday night, unless he is busy and leave the ball in his court. Does sound a little odd to me.