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Advice needed on moving in with partner.

2 replies

bouncy · 19/04/2003 10:48

I am about to move in with my boyfriend, but I have a few issues about our relationship. His ex-wife has cheated on him and I know he doesn't find it that easy to trust (even though I am not the cheating type).

I am trying to track down my ex-parner to see about our son, but my dp wants me to drop it and stop looking because he will be his dad now. I have explained that my son as a right to know if his real dad wants to know or not, but he is not too happy about my continuing, I think he feels we will see each other again and all those loving feeling will come back etc etc. Not true there was a reason why we split up.

The trouble is in every other way he is so perfect for me.

How can I get through to him that I will never cheat on him. His ex-wife had various affairs and most of his friends knew about it, but didn't feel the need to tell him about it (some friends).

OP posts:

WideWebWitch · 19/04/2003 11:57

Be wary, this sounds like controlling behaviour to me. Sorry, I know you probably don't want to hear this but that's my impression from your brief posting. Maybe I'm wrong - can you tell us more? Even if he moves in with you he won't be your son's dad and it's understandable (from the other thread) that you want to have one last shot at contacting your ex for your ds's sake. I don't think most men would construe that as wanting a relationship with your ex, 4 years on. Like I said, maybe I've got this all wrong and apologies if so.


doormat · 19/04/2003 14:36

Bouncy exactly the same happened to my dp. His ex cheated on him for years before we got 2gether. My advice to you is that it will take time for him to trust you. just keep reassuring him that you will not cheat and he will get over it eventually.
As for your son seeing his dad suggest to dp that he makes the arrangements 2gether, that way dp does not feel left out or JEALOUS.

Agree with WWW it is controlling behaviour as my dp was like that until it actually got through his thick bonce that I was not going to cheat. You are going to have some rough times ahead ie (arguing) but it will calm down

eventually. (It has taken 7 years for dp to trust me)

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