Nephew very depressed advice please.

[doormat]

My sister and her dh are having marriage probs for the last few weeks. They are at the point of splitting. the trouble is my nephew who is 4 has become very withdrawn and depressed. To the point of him saying that no-one likes him or wants to go near him anymore. He sobbed in his sleep last night pining for his dad. Can anyone please give me any advice as to handle the situation. his dad is a very loving, caring father and it is totally out of character for him to start keeping away from his son. Help please thanx.

Oh, doormat, it must be so upsetting to see a 4-year-old so sad. Not really sure what to suggest, but have you spoken to your sister about your worries (without appearing to be casting blame or taking sides, of course)? Could you perhaps invite him for the odd special treat with your family, just to make him feel more loved and wanted? What about his grandparents ? could you suggest they do the same? Does he have siblings at all? I do feel for you, but having extended family who show they care about him will only help, I'm sure.

doormat, I feel for you too. I haven't any first hand experience of this problem so don't know what to say specifically. If your nephew is saying that no one likes him or wants to come near him, it sounds like he could do with lots of extra special attention right now from other family and friends - hopefully his parents will be able to take over again soon. It is so sad he feels no one wants to come near him - do you think he is feeling short of cuddles from his parents? If so, could you do something physical like taking him swimming?

Don't know if this applies, but if you feel his parents aren't really that aware of their son's depression, could you have a quiet word with one of them. You say your nephew's father is a caring loving person, so even if he is having problems, he won't have stopped loving his son and may well be horrified to hear that his son is so upset. It must be difficult to speak out, because you know they must be under lots of stress themselves, and you don't want to sound critical, but they might be thinking that their son is taking things OK when he is not. Perhaps the little boy is putting on a brave face for them, but letting his grief show to outsiders. If he is keeping quiet his parents might think he is immune to their marriage problems and they are sucessfully hiding things from him. If you feel you can't speak to the parents about this, is there someone else who's close to them who could?

Don't know what else to say, but sorry your nephew is feeling so sad.

Thanx for the advice girls.