Grounds of unreasonable behaviour

[MeltedEasterEgg]

If a person is accussed of unreasonable behaviour in a divorce, what does this mean?

And if it's the man that is accussed of this but he says he just agreed to that in a deal for custody of their child, should he be believed?

Well the grounds for divorce are Adultery, Unreasonable behaviour or desertion, otherwise you have to wait for a 2 year seperation.

"You must show that your spouse has behaved in such a way that you cannot reasonably be expected to live with them. Unreasonable behaviour is now the most common fact on which to prove the ground for divorce in England and Wales. In an unreasonable behaviour divorce petition, the petitioner sets out a number of allegations against the respondent.

These allegations might include references to excessive drinking or financial extravagance, for example; but it's worth bearing in mind that the court doesn't insist on really severe allegations of unreasonable behaviour in order to grant a divorce. Relatively mild allegations, such as devoting too much time to a career, having no common interests or pursuing a separate social life may well suffice. Using mild allegations may also make it easier to agree a divorce petition with your spouse in advance."

In my case my exh sited unreasonable behaviour and he and solicitor wrote a complete load of bollocks. I agreed to it because I wanted it to go through quickly. So I can see how it could be the case that guy agreed to it in order to settle an amical agreement over custody.

Is this someone you are involved with and wondering if he is telling the truth?

Yes it is. I do trust him and I think he is telling the truth. He's a lovely guy but I've been burnt so many times, I can't shake the nagging feeling that he may not be all he seems iyswim?

Still, after seeing a text from his ex-wife (he showed me) she is clearly mad.

Thanks for the info.

IME lots of people agree to be accused of unreasonable behaviour to simplify the divorce proceedings, so it's entirely plausable. You have to give a reason if you don't want to just wait out the two years and this is often the least accusatory and hurtful - after all we ALL unreasonable sometimes aren't we?

You can sort of counter sue and say 'no it was the other party that was unreasonable' but it simply complicates things, costs more money to untangle and draws things out. So if you believe him, you could even argue that he was BETTER than reasonable for just taking it on the chin and not arguing the toss!

Instinct is there for a reason.

You do have to be carefull because some people divorce for very good reasons, ones that you should probably be aware of! I know I did, I made a point of making sure the actual behaviour was on the divorce even though I knew it may mean he would contest it. (He didn't). I am aware that he will try to explain the divorce away as "she is such a witch/liar/I just wanted a quiet life" but at least it may be enough to sow some seeds of doubt in a new partners mind!

I am not saying this is the case with your partner, I suspect the majority of the time it is just to get a quick divorce but, I personally, would keep it in the back of my mind!

'unreasonable behaviour' is just the go-to grounds for divorce if you don't want to wait two years to start the divorce process.

In itself, the phrase is pretty meaningless. The petitioner has to provide examples of the the 'unreasonable behaviour' but you can put down just about anything. The mere fact that you're asking for a divorce signifies that you can't reasonably be expected to live with the person, so it's highly unusual they are going to say 'oh no, that's not unreasonable enough to justify divorce'.

Countersuits are basically pointless, so can understand why the guy wouldn't have bothered.

I'd be more interested in what the actual examples were in the divorce petition. If anyone read mine against my ex-husband, it might give them fair warning that he's a workaholic with no sex drive!

Mine had ridiculous things like: "When we go to the pub she occupies herself with her drinking and her friends" Er isn't that why you go to the pub? "She spends all her money on clothes" Not even true. "She was always rude to my mother" again not true, though I was sorely tempted on occasion

It's not necessarily anything sinister at all. Can you just keep things slow for a bit and get to know him better...?

Have you seen a copy of the petition to see what the actual grounds were? These days, it seems that you can be accused of very little and the court will just wave through the petition. I have a friend who divorced recently and what she told me she put by way of unreasonable behaviour is stuff I put up with every day and don't think twice about it as he probably has to put up with as much crap from me. It's called marriage and that means putting up with each others' little ways for better or worse.

I agree the copy of the petition is important, if you are really worried. Mine says things like "showing DC porn" (I couldn't put all of it for legal reasons) - sometimes someones "little ways" are too "worse" CZ.