Can we talk about name-calling and/or put-downs please? Is it ever acceptable?

[CherryChoc]

OK, third attempt at writing this post and I will try to keep it simple.

Is it ever acceptable for a person to call their partner names or put them down? e.g. In an argument, or when they are angry/frustrated/stressed generally?

I know it isn't right when it happens all the time, and I am worried about my relationship with DP. I think making it more difficult for me to judge is that my mum used to object if me and my sister called each other "stupid" yet his family are really different and always seem to be arguing and putting each other down.

Hopefully in the 12 years since this was posted they have left the fuckers and lived happily.

My partner has in past called colleagues bitches to their face in a busy office with clients there. He says what he thinks when he gets very angry. Total opposite when in a good mood, he turns into a people pleaser for strangers at the detriment of making me feel like cr*p. If he’s willing to call others names, I shouldn’t be surprised he does it to me even if I am 37 weeks pregnant.

It would never be acceptable to me. There are only three reasons people do this. They are not intelligent enough to engage appropriately when there is disagreement; they can't control their anger; or they are deliberately weaponising words to cause you hurt. None of which make for the type of person I'd want to be with.

I'm the original OP, changed my name since, but yes I did 😁

Been married almost ten years to a lovely man who has never ever called me a name or put me down. It's absolutely not acceptable.

Oh and it automatically used my old name (I'm BertieBotts now)

All three of these were true

Lol can't believe this is so old! Didn't notice. Lovely that you came back with your update! So pleased for you.

has in past called colleagues bitches to their face in a busy office with clients there

WTF???😮