Staying at new partners at weekend, nervous for wrong reasons

[JuiceMsLucy]

Been with my partner for about 2 months. We have kissed but not much else (nothing else actually!).

We are going away for the day next tuesday but setting off very early (5am) and DP had already invited us around for dinner on the monday.

So, he has suggested that we stay over at his house Monday night.

His plans are that I sleep in his bed and he sleeps on the sofa. But lets be honest, that probably isn't really what he has in mind.

I'm nervous. I have not been with anyone for 3 years. That is bad enough but another problem is that DP is quite overweight. This does NOT bother me, I like him for who he is, I almost feel like we're 'soul mates' but I'm not sure I trust my own reaction if things go further than a kiss and cuddle on the sofa.

To be blunt, I've never been with anyone so overweight before and I'm worried I will be put off. I'm really worried in fact.

I don't want to be judgemental but I will have no control over my own mental reaction that first time and it scares me.

Does anyone understand? this is NOT an anti-overweight thread btw, just a new experience to me and I'm not sure how it will change things iyswim?

well, it seems to me that he is probably as nervous as you are!

He sounds like a lovely, considerate chap who will be happy to wait as long as you need.

If things start to progress, take it at your own speed, don't feel that you have to do anything. If you feel like stopping (for whatever reason) then make it clear that that's enough. Tell him you're not quite ready. It really sounds like he will understand and be fine about it.

Above all, try not to dwell on it, relax and let things happen (or not)

Most of all, enjoy yourself. If you stop enjoying what you're doing, stop.

Good luck

and come back on Tuesday and let us know what happened! (although not too much detail )

When you kissed him, was it nice or did it feel like something you were putting up with to be polite? Because if you did't like the kissing much and feel put off by the idea of anything more then basically you may not really be up for a sexual relationship with this man, no matter how well you get on.

If your concerns are more on the practical level (ie that he is a really big bloke and you are genuinely scared of sex being phyisically difficult or uncomfortable) you might find this book helpful.
I appreciate that if you haven't had sex for a long time it's easy to get worried out of all proportion about a variety of things - but generally, if you like someone and fancy them and want to have sex with them, unless they strip off to reveal an alien probe instead of a willy, or ask you to check how their piles are hanging before you get going, mostly the excitement of getting jiggy with this wonderful new person will carry you through.
Good luck.

Have you thought that maybe the reason it's only gone as far as a kiss so far is because he is just as nervous as you and maybe he is worried about the weight issue? He may be genuine about sleeping on the sofa .