Me, my life and my kids

[MuffinBaker]

I love my husband very much. He is the love of my life for so many reasons.

I love my children very much and wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them, I am sure.

Leaving is not an option.

How do I get through my life when I am so unhappy?

I am not doing as well as I should as a wife or a mother and need to completely change everything to try and be what my husband and kids deserve.

DH is out with the kids feeling fed up as I haven't gone with them.

I have long term depression. Hate where I live. Have no friends. Feel ugly and too fat. Can't seem to just get on.

Back to the cleaning.....

Some times life gets stuck in a rut, I feel the same feelings that you experience, but DP works away so have no choice but to get my fat saggy arse out there. I hate it. I have tried to ame new friends but never know waht to say.

Do you have treatment for your depression?

Do you have something just for you? an evening class or getting out for a walk.

I apprecaite it is hard to get out there some days - just try to relax and be kind to yourself - we allcome in different shapes and sizes. x

I am on medication for the depression and are waiting to start psychotherapy.

I would be happy without having had children and that just fills me with shame and sadness.

DH and I really ought to have talked about things more before we had them.

It is very brave of you to say that, I say it to myself sometimes, that if I knew what it involved Iwouldn't of done it. Feel like I let DS down alot as I don't get him out and about like I should, would rather go to the park and play on our own than a mums and tots. He should be out with other children. He is so naughty for me too I must be doinf something wrong?

Try and think of the things you do well - keeping a clean house, cooking, ensuring the children eat well and have the right shoes on. They are small things but are important.

I use DS as an excuse I can't go to teh gym anymore or classes because I have to be here for him - DP in the Navy. It could be arranged but would be a nightmare. No family near by to ask for help. I just eat myself silly in the evening because I have nothing else to do - other than house wrok, NVQstuff oh and some exercise which would make me feel better, just can't motivate myslef at 9pm at night.

I am hoping when he starts nursery things will be better.

How old are yours?

Oh you guys sound really sad - Muffin is there a homestart where you are - they are brilliant help for mums who are struggling a little.

My kids are 8 and under.

Homestart won't help.

Just need a kick up the backside, I guess,

I think most mums feel like this to some degree. who parents 100% fully best all of the time? lots of people are just muddling through. prioritise, whats important for each day? healthy meal? fresh air? clean clothes? whatever your priorities are, get the top one or two done, sod the minor stuff. forget the grind, sit in the mess eating bananas and reading together. enlist DH to quick blitz in the eves. also, exercise really helps lift moods, if you watch tv, do starjumps through the adverts, get the blood pumping. you dont need a kick, you need a cud!

I could have wrote your posts

I am sorry Scooby.

It is so hard to say some things as it is terrible ot admit yopu shouldn't have had kids. I am not saying I wish I didn't have them, just that I had no clue it would affect me like this. And bless my kids, they told me yesterday I wasn't a rubbish Mum and I am the best cook in the world.

Plenty more like you (& me) to be found in "Mental Health" area. Loads of good advice too. I hope you get the psychotherapy really soon and that it is good. What lovely kids - see you've done that well!

One piece of advice I remember reading on MN, MH area is to get out once a day - even if it's just a walk round the block. You have to get up - getting washed is good - you have to get dressed and you have to face the world. Good luck! We're here to give you (((hugs))) and encouragement and sympathy.