quick summary for those that don't know my situation.
DH and I separated last March after just over 8yrs of married life. Been living our own lives since then, but then in January this year decided to have another go of things. But starting over from the beginning. So we're still very much at the "dating" stage, living seperate lives, staying out of each others business unless we're on a "date" or when he's come to get the DSs for a weekend with him.
He was fire end of January, and having already been in deep financial shit is now even more so because of that.
He's currently effectively "squatting" in the marital home which is all in his name (I lived there until end of January when I moved out and am now claiming HB elsewhere). He has virtually no furniture in there, and when he has the DS's to sleep over the single sofa bed (tiny little square foam thing which he uses as an "arm chair") goes up stairs for DS1 to sleep on and he sits on the floor.
The last few weeks as the end of the month approached (and came and has now gone) we've not really seen each other except on DS "exchange" time.
He's really retreated and I was wondering whether it was because he was having second thoughts about "us". I did manage to get out of him tonight (on the phone) that it's not "us" - he's just really stressed and not very talkative and (his words) "not really someone you want to have to talk to at the moment".
I told him that I don't mind if he just wants to come over and sit on the sofa and watch TV (he has no TV now, and his computer recently broke so he's not online either) and only speak to say "yes please" when I offer him another bottle of Magners.
He then made a thing, not in a stroppy way, about me not "minding" - so I rephrased that I don't care if he's not wanting to talk if he just wants company that's fine.
tbh I think he's depressed and I'm actually really worried about him. He took all the debts (apart from my Credit Card) with him when we split up (they were all in his name anyhow - but still - we agreed together to take out business loans etc a few years ago) and even before he lost his job 20k a year wasn't enough to pay them all, especially with mortgage arrears as well. So £3k a year from JSA to pay for everything except for his council tax is going to cripple him even more and I think it's really affecting him.
He's been throwing himself into his gym (he joined just before he got fired - unfair dismissal by the way - and has kept it up as it's the only "release" he gets and when it needs renewing he'll get the cheaper rates because he's on benefits and it's the council run one), and this week I know he went kick boxing twice - but it totally exhausted him.
What on earth can I do to help him??? Despite us being married for all these years we are in effect in a new relationship. So we've only been together for 3 months so I don't feel I can try to chivvy him along to try and go to the GP's or anything, or even talk about it if he's reluctant to share it with me because of it being "early" in it all. Or at least I don't feel I can do it in the same way that I would have been able to if we were living together (or even separate) as a fully fledged "couple").