Need to know how to support dh, everything is a mess.

[thesockmonsterofdoom]

He has been having a really hard time at work lately, he says he has not been doing his job very well and has been struggling for a couple of months.
yesterday his boss gave him a letter saying that they are going to watch him closely over the next 3 weeks and then they will have a review, basically saying that if he doesnt improve he will get the sack.
He is obviosly very stressed about this, he has been working all hours as it is and doesnt know why he is struggling somuch, i think he may be depressed, his boss asked him if there is something worng at home, there isnt.
He has been in his job for about 7 years and has always been very good, he is now coming home everyday saying he is sinking and he doesnt know what to do, he asked for help, which they gave him, have acknowledged that he has improved but not to an acceptable level, they are now holding this against him and saying that his collegues supporting him is affecting their own jobs.
I am panicking as I am a SAHM, we have no savings and if he lost his job we would be f***. If he gets sacked I think he will have a lot of trouble getting another job especially in the current climate. I really dont know what to do for the best.

Hi there, sorry to hear about your troubles. It sounds like a really stressful time. I think there are two fronts on which to tackle this problem. Firstly, if he has been in his job for 7 years then he can't just be sacked (as far as I'm aware). They would have to go through disciplinary procedures and try to support him better. It might help to get some help from the Citizens Advice Bureau, or some other agency about Employment Law. If he is suffering stress then they definitely can't sack him, it is classified as an illness and he is technically entitled to be on sick leave. A letter from the doctor saying he is suffering from stress might be enough to bide him some time.

Secondly, it sounds like your husband is struggling emotionally, and maybe seeing a counsellor would help. You might find that if he gets the right emotional support then the problems at work will clear up of their own accord. After all, he must have been doing his job well in the past if he has been there 7 years. Has he spoken to you at all about what might be bothering him?

Best of luck with all of this, I hope it goes ok for you

I was under the impression that it was work that was bothering him, and I still think it is but I didnt realise it was quite to this extent. He has as far as I am aware always done his job well, this has obviously upset him, causing him and me to get no sleep last night which is not really going to help with improving things at work, i am fairly sure they have just done it as a kick up the bum but I cant see how dh can do any better, he already gives his all to his job. he wouldnt talk about it too much last night.

I'd second what Gorgeous said.

if they are trying to dismiss your DH on capability grounds then they should be following this process

Fingers crossed it doesn't come to that

Has your DH been to his Dr to make sure there are no underlying problems, stress, depression etc?

Has anything changed at work in the past few months - new conditions, equipment, targets or expectations that are making it difficult for him to acheive. Is he a sales person? If nothing is happening outside of work something in work has to have changed to make him feel like this suddenly and they have a duty to him to help him through the adjustments.

Ok having read the letter again it states that beither this letter or the review on 3 weeks are formal, they hope the letter which does not constitue a formal warning helps to clarify required standards. Should no improvement be seen there may be no option but to conclude the firms capability policy.

I feel a bit guilty I shouldnt really be discussing this.

I think it soundslike they are going to give him chances to improve, I just hope to god that he can.
They have not given him any measurable targets which strikes me as rather odd.

They have a new computer system in the new year, but he says this is not the problem.

I am also trying vey hard to see this (and sell it to dh) as a positive thing. the more I think about it the better I actually feel, last night it was gut reaction was that dh was going to get fired in 3 weeks anbd we would be up shit creek, even uif the worse came to the worse we should have time to sort things out. |Thanks for your replies. I appreciate the support, I am totally shocked by this and all I kept thinking last night was I am not going to lose my house. and how will dh ever get another job if he gets sacked.

having been involved in performance improvement actions in my last job (a couple of which ended up as cabability dismissals) I find it VERY odd that they haven't been crystal clear on the standards/performance/objectives/targets/call it what you want, that he is expected to achieve. If they don't do this how can he know what to achieve & more importantly how can they demonstrate that he has (or hasn't met them)

To do a capability dismissal you have to do everything by the book or you leave yourself wide open to ending up at an employment tribunal.

I'll say again, hopefully it won't come to that, but PLEASE keep your own records & document everything that happens just in case.

Have they also told your DH he's allowed a colleague/union rep to accompany him to any of these type of meetings?

Also have a look at the [[http://www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=1565 ACAS}} site, there's some useful stuff on there & consider contacting their helpline, everyone I know who's used it speaks highly of it.

thesockmonsterofdoom - I agree with BetsyBoop.

The first thing that struck me about what you said is that your DH has been doing this job well for 7 years and now all of a sudden he is being watched and his position reviewed in 3 weeks time.

To be frank, that sounds like the firm is looking to cull headcount and looking for an excuse by making out that he is not doing his job properly and so perhaps looking to avoid paying redundancy?

This pressure is obviously going to be very stressful and in my view very unfair.

Going to a Tribunal is equally stressful, time consuming and not always successful. However, I do think he would have a good case if they get procedure wrong or just construct an excuse which is flimsy. I understand there is maximum upper limit payout though for unfair and constructive dimissal and getting a job after can be difficult.

I never understand why firms take this approach. It never gets them anywhere in the long run.

I'll try that ACAS link again, sorry, was just about to put DD to bed...