You couldn't make this one up.

[nicenewname]

Right here goes...my db left his partner (my SIL) last year for someone else. She never knew about the OW although suspected I'm sure.

Over a period of about 6 months I wasn't in touch with my mum (another story)so didn't know the real in and outs but knew from my other siblings that my SIL was being threatened by text by an ex friend of my brothers. My db also received endless texts threatening violence to my SIL (really sick violence, raping etc and lots along the lines of 'we've just seen sil arrive home wearing blue dress and this what we'd like to do to her....) So she was being followed on a regular basis.
Bit of history, the friend was homosexual and propostioned my brother so I think my family presumed he was seeking revenge for being scorned.

Anyhow...my dm was distraught, didn't sleep properly, was worried about SIL, neice and nephew. SIL filled my dm in constantly on what was going on and comforted my dm that she didn't deserve to feel such worry etc. Niece and nephew were fully aware of the situation (young teenagers) and not protected from any of it.
My db often slept in his car outside sil and dnes house. Db never confronted ex-friend claiming it would be giving him the reaction he wanted.

Well....if you haven't already guessed, my sil made the whole thing up (unbelievable, eh) and had bought a new phone chip which she used for the texting. When I was back in touch with my mum and found out all the facts my dh and I discussed that it was sil. Can't believe none of my family realised this but then giving them the benefit of the doubt, it's pretty unbelievable (IMO) to think somebody would be capable of this so they fell for it hook, line and sinker!

My db and sil are now back together (for how long remains to be seen) which means we have to acknowledge sil and (outwardly at least) accept her back into the family.

My question is how would you deal with this and would you have issues with one sibling and their partner reverting completely back to how things were eg nights out to celebrate sil birthday?

Sil has admitted it was her and has shown no remorse only claims about how much she was hurting at the time.

Goodness - you couldn't make it up could you.

How does your brother feel about the lies?

He thinks he made her behave like that because he left her.

I can understand she was hurting and wanted him to hurt maybe but can't get my head around the effects on my dm and niece and nephew which she allowed.

Well dittany I actually agree with you but my concern isn't for db. It's the way everyone else was sucked it and at times put at risk (lots more details that I haven't posted).

I am sure lots of women on here would tell you that they would do things that were wrong and completely out of character when hurting so much through being betrayed by someone that they loved so much.

So I should try to forget that my dm was ill whilst it was going on (she has been like a mum to sil) and also that her own children went to bed scared at night that someone would turn up? I'm finding it hard to get my head round those kind of issues.

Thanks for your comments

Blood will always out

She sounds incredibly selfish and then so does he.

It will be hard for you to have a "normal" relationship with her any time soon. Perhaps time will make it better?

Does she know that you all know? She's surely horrified what an idiot you must all think she is?

What she did was wrong, but she must have been pretty desperate and hurting like hell, to see THIS as a way to repair her family...

She has behaved like a loon but it has clearly achieved her objective

What I would find as hard to forgive in your place as much the carry on itself would be the apparent lack of contrition and expecting everyone else to act as if it never happened. I don't know how she can show her face.

If she had called a family meeting admitted what she did and begged for forgiveness would it have made any difference do you think?

btw - how did she get found out? or did she come clean?

yep, more to this than meets the eye

someone else was complicit in this drama, very odd indeed

you should be pissed off with both the silly beggars

ahh but she's not is she she's only pissed of with the DW not her poor hard done by brother who started this whole stupid mess by not keeping his dick in his pants - ah well as I said blood is thicker than water !

Just to let you know I've asked for my thread to be deleted as my DH thinks someone from my family may see this and I'm worried about repurcussions.
Thanks for all your replies. (I'm ignoring macdoodle as I certainly don't think my DB is hard done by and have not portrayed this.)

You may not admit it but your OP has a very negative SIL slant with no sympathy for her whatsoever - I agree her behaviour was utterly bizarre but I suspect she was pushed to the very edge - of course you only know your DB side and that is the side you choose to believe - and I say again blood is thicker than water!

Funnily enough Mac, I've never even discussed it with my DB! Only my DM. I am very gobsmacked/hurt by what DSIL put my dm through but I in no way condone my DB's behaviour. Valid points I think made by posters about them both apologising to family.
Not going to read anymore as MUST stop posting and hope thread deleted soon. Thanks again everyone.

To me it sounds like a breakdown. If it was due to mental health problems, it's harder to hold it against her. There may be things there you don't know.

Suspecting your partner is up to something then having them leave for someone else is enough to GIVE anyone a mental health problem...

I can quite understand why you are so angry at your SIL's bahaviour nicenewname.

I am a bit surprised that the consensus here is that her behaviour was ultimately caused by her husband's actions. Isnt she an adult?

Her behaviour sounds totally manipulative and calculated to me. I wouldnt like to guess at the the affect this could have had on her children.

I dont think it is your place to tackle her about this, but I think your feelings are entirely justified and I would be very wary of her in future.

By the way, do you think your brother guessed she was making it up? If not, why wouldnt he have confronted her alledged "stalker".

i would not go out to parties for her and only aknowledge her as the wife and mother of you Db and DN's.

she is a very very strange lady.

am at some of the responses on this thread.

A man leaves his partner so is naturally responsible for his actions, yet the ex makes up a story about being stalked, implicates her children and no doubt terrifies them as well and this is apparently the fault of the husband as well?

She is an adult. And is therefore responsible for her own actions.

I would refuse to ever acknowledge her again, and would make it very clear why.

Do her children know what a lying bitch she is?