Just joined a dating site - Do girls send messages??

[ShittyBogStain]

I joined a dating site a few days ago. Not had any messages I don't think I'm THAT hidious!! So I'm considering contacting a few myself but I'm scared of rejection and of looking desperate! Do girls send first messages on these sites? if so, what do I put to stop myself looking like a bunny boiler?

Yes, women send first messages, just like in real life women sometimes approach men.

Men also fear rejection and looking desperate. Many will be grateful that you made first contact!

You really have to get over the fear of rejection. It happens, and it's probably going to happen to you. It doesn't mean you are hideous or unworthy--just that the person doesn't think you'd be a good match. If you did get a load of messages, you'd most likely reject a fair few for that same reason. So toughen up!

As for what to say--you say what prompted you to contact them. Did you like something witty they said? Their taste in music/movies? Make it personal to their profile/ad, so it's obvious you haven't taken a scattershot approach and sent the same generic 'I like your profile' message to loads of people. However, don't go overboard and write a epic. Keep it fairly short and simple, 'I liked when you said xyz, I'm also into xyz, would you like to chat some time?' If they don't respond, or respond negatively, don't take it too personally. Just move on.

Hope this helps, best of luck to you.

err, shittybogstain, I hope you have not chosen a similar-sounding name for your dating persona

if you have, don't be surprised if you don't get much interest

lol at AF
i said exactly the same thing on LP!

yes, shittybogstain - send messages to the ones you like, they might be shy but great catches and all the silly coy women will miss out and be stuck competing for the eejits who emailed every single female between 21 and 60 and think they are god's gift.

Also, if you can search by putting certain restrictions, keep the man's height low. Some women - even very short ones - get carried away with being particular on dating sites because it feels like internet shopping, so they insist on 6 footers, which means that there are loads of lovely shorter / medium sized men looking for a date.

I'm surprised you haven't had any replies. Have you asked friends to give you an honest critique of the photos and text of your profile?

I'd do that before emailing anyone, tbh, just in case your photo is accidentally hideous and your text reads like a nutter.

Oh, a thought: is your main profile picture of just you, or you with friends? If it's you with friends, change it to just you.

only if they are lesbians

i met my Df on dating site and yes i messaged him first, who cares if they dont reply thats their loss! chin up and be a brave girl!!!!!! x

I met Dh on a dating website- was our 2nd wedding anniversary yesterday!
Can't remember who sent the first message, now....I sent a few. Keep them light hearted, and not too heavy (save the 'i want a big white wedding/6 kids' etc til a little later..)

I met dp on a dating site and I'd contacted him first. I just asked if they'd made a mistake as he looked so young. I contacted a lot of guys that I liked and vice-versa. I dated a few from the site but knew dp was the one even before we met just by our phone conversations which probably sounds mad?

Agree with getting honest opinions on your profile, we could always help

What dating site? Try POF.com as I got 10+ messages a day for a few weeks (then left it as was all getting a bit much!)

Like sarah said, in the one you are on, if possible try searching by interest (whatever you like to do) - so if you see someone you like, its a nice starting point for a message?

And look for feasible distance too, the long distance ones are full of hurdles. Speaking from experience.
Expect loads will say now that they are in LDR and managed to survive. but honestly, someone not too far away makes it so much easier.
I met current BF on dating site and although I said it is hard to nurture a relationship with miles to travel to see one another, he said it would be ok, but truthfully it has a lot of drawbacks (and we are only 2 hours apart (by train) but it is sometimes very difficult.... that is my advise! Good luck!

lmccrean I met dp on POF. You do mean plentyoffish.com?

Agree about the distance. Dp is a good drive away but we manage to spend a lot of time together thank goodness. Hope it turns out better for you in the future Kally? Which site did you meet him on?

yup, its plenty of fish, but you can just type in POF.com and itll take you there

OP hasn't come back she must be too busy emailing guys?