Before i start, this is NOT AIBU so i don't want someone telling me i am an awful daughter, as i am aware of this already, i'm just looking for someone to listen and give me advce if possible.
My Mother is 41 and has just had her 5th child. The child has downs syndrome, but apart from that is perfectly healthy, is feeding well has put on 3lbs since she was born 12wks ago (despite a slow start). My mother is going around telling everyone the baby is completely deaf. She has had no professional telling her this (they told her they would do another test soon, but they are unconcerned). She told me 10 days ago that she thinks baby can hear in one ear as she reacted when my mum sneezed. She has now changed that to "i had my leg against the cot when i sneezed" I know that it sounds like she is having a hard time of it, and i'm sure its not easy, but every time i speak to her she tells me something like "baby has got obvious downs features now" in the same way most mothers would when their child has rolled over for the first time. I am not suggesting having a baby with ds is a bad thing, not in the slightest, my concern is that my mother seems to be enjoying the fact that her child is disabled.
I also have a 7yr old brother who is Autistic (although they have now been told he is NOT autistic) and she was the same with him, encouraging any slight unconventional behaviour, "he can't go anywhere without his coat hanger" and giving it to him when they left the house.
Her sister is also like this and they are constantly talking about the problems/illnesses that their children have almost like they are competing.
I'm very concerned about how healthy this is and i usually try to keep right out of it, but after a chat this morning i feel like i need to speak to someone about it. There is lots more to the story but i have tried to just include the relevant bits.