Sisters! Just feel like sitting down and crying.... mine can be so bloody toxic!

[Boozysuzy]

I keep telling myself that it is OK to get to be 40ish and decide not to have to deal with really difficult, critical people who take great delight in making you feel bad about yourself - and even if they are related to you it is still ok to say enough!

And breathe....

i have five of them-one of them i wouldn't piss on if she was on fire and i've no idea why she's held up as the great one-always has been,seemingly always will be. I ended up in a stand up row with my mother on mothers day last week because of her and her actions,but as per my family we'll obviously say nothing to her and EVERYTHING to me...

You're right, for some reason (and it's been like that since we were children)she is treated like delicate china and no one must be allowed to upset her, but I get told in no uncertain terms every single one of my faults real or imagined!

I've lost count of the number of times excuses have been made for her appalling behaviour.

Sorry realise this makes me sound like a ranting harpie! But God honestly...

Definitely breathe, step back, see if that helps. What she says is not real or true. Wish I could take my own advice - self-protection is good for you, and you do not sound ranting.

My partner has just disowned both of his sisters and is now much happier. Both are completely toxic and quite frankly can fuck off.
Sympathy for you. Toxic relatives just seem to keep on giving don't they.

I stopped talking to one of my sisters about 10 years ago. I will be polite on the few occasions I am forced to be in her company, much in the same way you would be to a racist, offensive great aunt, but I don't talk to her voluntarily or seek out her company or opinions.

She does have a certain glamour to her, possibly because she is so convinced of her own opinions that no opposition is allowed. I have noticed, however, that one by one my siblings are coming round to my way of behaving around her. I'm happier, they're happier and, quite frankly, I don't think she's noticed.

Why bother with them if you don't like them? I love my sibs, but even then we're lax about contact as we're all busy. If I disliked any of them I'd send them birthday and Christmas cards and see them at weddings etc and that would be it.
You don't have to be melodramatic and cut people off, you just don't make any effort to see them and find other things to do if they want to see you. Usually dislike is mutual though, so if you dislike your sister its highly unlikely she thinks you're wonderful, so seeing her infrequently should be easy.

I have one too. She is childless, but always sees fit to comment on my parenting ability. Now she is 5 months in to doing a midwifery course and now she's an expert and tries to tell me things!! I am pregnant with my fourth and have had 2 m/c, so I am pretty clued up about most things!!

It wouldn't be as bad if she was just trying to chat etc...but she's doing it to try to 'impress' us all and make out she knows more than me!! So annoying, so I am trying to keep my distance at the moment as she is the 'golden' child (she's 25 and still living with mummy fgs!) and my mum sides with her constantly.

Rant over

I won't go as far as never speaking to her, my kids like her for a start, I just don't see why I should put up with being made to feel worthless all the time! She's so competitive and it's draining. I have enough hassle in my life.

Stretch I have a sister like that too. I apparently 'gave' dd1 ADHD because I had a couple of glasses of wine during pregnancy. She told me this when I had a glass of wine and lemonade with my Xmas dinner while pg with dd2. How I did not smack her in the face is beyond me.

I also allow dd1 too much control. And I expect her to 'grow up' too quickly. The reality is I will do anything within my power to stop my dd's turning out like her, even if that means expecting dd1 to put her clothes in the washing basket and displaying dissapointemt when she does not.

She is 23 and lives with my mum rent free. She has no inclinations to go out and get a ft job or to stand on her own two feet and sometimes even rings me to rant about how my mum has not washed her favourite jeans properly

I have not spoken to my sister in nearly 2 years.
And I never want to see her again.......ever.

Life is so much nicer now without the spectre of my sister hanging over us.

It's like a weight off my shoulders.

I cut my sister off 4 weeks ago. I have told her I never want to see or hear from her again.

She is a self centred , arrogant , selfish ,precious madam and I do not want her in my life.

She treats my mother like dirt and yet my mother thinks she is wonderful.

My brother has nothing to do with her either .

Do want feels right for you. Choose friends and do not suffer relatives.

Snap! with many of you, especially Stretch and SheSells - they sound like the "maiden aunt" my sister is as well. I cut her off at the end of last year, which I posted a thread about at the time.

The way I see it is that I wouldn't let a stranger treat me or my DS like she does, so why should I let anyone else just because we share a mum?

My mum is always going on about how close we all are blah blah, and I think, can she not see it?

If it wasn't for the kids, I wouldn't see her at all!

All 3 of mine have had a tummy bug over the last few weeks. DD2 and Ds had rotavirus, lasted 10 days each! I am 15 weeks preg and VERY sick. My sister was at home last week, (mums house, she's at uni) did she come round?? Did she bollocks! She was in bed till 10 every morning. I could have really done with the help.

Now my mum has rang and said she has a tummy bug. What, so she practically ignores me when the kids are ill, yet as soon as she is ill, I have to listen to her moaning and be sympathetic!! She never cam round either

Close my arse

blush Sorry!

I think that my sister has chosen to cut me off. I'm not surprised as I was awful when younger but she does seem to be perfect in evry way posisble. The golden child definately. The only thing that's not perfect is her lack of desire to make up and put the past behind us. Mabe she knows taht I won't change but I see it as a lack of forgiveness.

Oooh, don't know how that happened!!

girlandboy

'I have not spoken to my sister in nearly 2 years.
And I never want to see her again.......ever.

Life is so much nicer now without the spectre of my sister hanging over us.

It's like a weight off my shoulders. '

I could have typed that, but replaced the '2 years' with 6 years!

So you don't like your sister Stretch, but wish she'd come round to act as unpaid childminder recently when you were ill?
Did you phone and ask her to come round? If you don't like each other it doesn't sound as though she'd just be popping in. It's unfair to criticise her for not helping if you didn't actually ask her to. I also wouldn't be keen to act as unpaid childminder to someone who seemed to dislike me, even if she was my sister.

Such judgements from someone who has no knowledge of the situation!

1. She is supposed to be family and we (according to my mum) are supposed to be a 'close' family and help each other out when in need as I would do for her.

1. I asked her on the mon if she wouldn't mind taking DD1 to school (she drives) as DD2 was being violently sick. She said she was still in bed and had to go out at 11am so couldn't!

1. She thinks she's a perfect person and likes to put me down at any given opportunity. However, I am adult enough to recognise that she plays an important part in my children's life (except when they are ill of course!) and she does not know how I feel. I only vent on here and at DH (who agrees) as I am not wanting huge arguements.

1. I never expected her to act as an unpaid childminder. Perhaps she could have taken DS (baby) and played with him for a bit at hers on one of the days so that I could concentrate on kids being ill and cleaning up?

1. I have always offered to pay petrol costs.

1. She will moan in a couple of weeks time that she hasn't seen the children for a while, yet will make no effort to come up. She waits for us, as a family, to go and visit my parents and will act the doting aunt then.

There's a lot more, but I won't bore you with any more details.

It's weird, my children think my sister is fabulous and all still want us to go away in the summer, spend Easter together blah blah...And it's always me that does the bloody travelling up down the country- every single sodding time!

It feels like arguing over who gets custody!

I don't know anymore what 'close' means to my family - it just seems to be faking emotions and biting your tongue and rewriting history!