Worried about our future! Help!

[Babarella]

Hey every1,I've been wiv my partner 4 a yr&hlf. We get on realy well&r so in love it makes r friends sick! We dnt live 2geta yet& have mental ex's! They both tried 2 cause trouble 4us,makin up lies&jus general bein blody pains! I hav 2children,he has 1. His childs mother was ok,well great about us at first! They had been split up4 2yrs &not livin 2geta. She was seein sum1;so was fine about us&let their son come 2 mine every wkend. He&my son get on realy well,they r the same age&love doin things 2geta. About 5mnths in2 it she broke up wiv her bfnd&has since been tryna ruin us,even sayin they hav slept 2geta! I trust him 100%,so didn't believe that 4a sec! So he hasn't brought his son ova since July&i havnt seen him since b4 Xmas! It's always been realy important2me2 hav agud relationship wiv him,he's only 5,&he dus lik me. I hav jus become pregnant. Only 5/6wks. It wasn't planned,but we hav both talked about how much we want children 2geta wen everyfin else is srtd! Now,as u can imagine we hav loads2srt out in jus8mnths! The pressure is already affectin us. Wot can I do2mak this ok???? Xxx

no text abbrev please

if we translate this to normal text:-

"Hey everyone, I've been with my partner for a year and a half. We get on really well and are so in love it makes our friends sick! We didn't live together yet and have mental exs! They both tried to cause trouble for us, making up lies and just generally being bloody pains!

I have two children, he has one. His child's mother was ok, well great about us at first! They had been split up for 2 years and not living together. She was seeing someone, so was fine about us and let their son come to mine every weekend. He and my son get on really well, they are the same age and love doing things together. About 5 months into it she broke up with her boyfriend and has since been trying to ruin us, even saying they have slept together! I trust him 100%, so didn't believe that for a second! So he hasn't brought his son over since July and I haven't seen him since before Xmas! It's always been really important to me to have a good relationship with him, he's only 5, and he does like me.

I have just become pregnant. Only 5/6 weeks. It wasn't planned but we have both talked abut how much we want children together when everything else is sorted! Now, as you can imagine we have loads to sort out in just 8 months! The pressure is already affecting us. What can I do to make this OK?."

Well if you and your partner trust one another then there is no need to worry about what his ex might claim. Has he got any kind of legally-agreed arrangement with his son's mother about access to the boy? If not, he should probably see a solicitor or the CAB about family mediation: some partners do object to their XPs introducing the children to their new partners, however as your DPs son has spen time with you in the past it would be unreasonable to claim that he shouldn't be allowed to see you now.
Do you live with your partner? Are you planning to move in together? ANd what is the problem with your own XP (you mention what his XW has done but not what yours does).

Oops! Sorry 4 tx talk! I'll try 2 make more sense! Yet this is my point,I totally understand that she may have needed time 2 except that we r together,but she couldn't get him out of the door quick enough,2 my house, when she was with someone! Then it all changed. No he won't take her 2 court as he thinks she will take it out on their son,he basically tries 2 keep the peace&does what she says! Which really winds me up! We have done nothing wrong&she has no right to dictate what he can&cant do with his son! I just worry that she will get worse when she finds out I'm pregnant,and won't let there son see his brother or sister when they get here! My ex seems 2 have stopped now,but he was also just being a pain textin my boyfriend sayin 'I'm goin 2 show u what ur made of' etc! Really quite immature and just made himself look like a jealous idiot. I have just chose 2 ignore his comments. It has affected my boyfriend more than me,he says,y do I put up with it and he should have respect 4 me. We don't live together yet,but he said there's no way he's coming near r house when we do! I get so flustrated! We did nothing wrong & hav been tryin 2 keep the peace 4 our kids,it's the exs who r acting like the children!

Are you all very young? Some of this does sound, tbh, a bit silly, and your boyfriend at least as childish as your ex, saying that he won't 'allow' your XP near your house.
YOur boyfriend should get some proper advice on contact, etc, for his son - does he pay maintenance, for instance? Wht is the situation with your XP and contact with your son (or does he have a different father?)

Yes he does pay towards him,has him 3 times a week&once over night. I am 28,so is my partner. My ex is 25&his is 26. Yer, I know it's very childish which is why I get so flastrated! I have done everything in my power 2 make life easy 4 every1,especially the kids. But I can't control every1,and am at my wits end,hence me askin 4 advise on here,so thanks. I usually get reasuring comments on here!

The best advice I can give is to try and get some sort of family mediation between your DP and his XP: as with any situation where both people feel they are right and the other person is being unreasonable, having someone else who is not emotionally involved talk it through with them can often help sort things out. It's also a good thing to have tried if things get worse (ie if the other person is determined to be difficult) as it shows that you are making an effort to be fair and reasonable.