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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Help

8 replies

OriginalUglyBetty · 27/03/2009 20:39

Me and DH have called it a day after 9 years, its early days and saw him for the first time since today.

Thought it was what we both wanted now im mortified i love him so much and feel so heartbroken without him.

He loves me too but we just cant seem to live together we just make each other miserable we have tried to make things work for around a year or more but it just doesnt feel right when were together, but now im gutted were apart.

Told him how i feel but hes adamant thats it, however im so confused is this normal help!

OP posts:

lalalonglegs · 27/03/2009 21:07

I suspect it is normal. The good news is that you care about each other and that can only be helpful going forward to reach an amicable separation and help your children - if you have any - get through this. I hope it works out for you.

LoveBeingAMummy · 27/03/2009 21:18

Of course it was going to be difficult - basically you are grieving for the life you were going to have together.

sundaywriter · 27/03/2009 21:21

really sorry, my ex was a sht but even so the first time I saw him post split to drop off dc I cried til my eyes were sore. It does get easier, honestly.

queenrollo · 27/03/2009 21:38

my ex and i separated after 14 years together, and even though i knew it really was the end it has been very hard to deal with the loss of the life i thought was ahead of me. We both have new partners now and get on very well indeed.
We cared very deeply for each other, and in many ways there was nothing wrong with our relationship......but we just made each other miserable and realised that no matter what we tried we couldn't 'fix' it.
It is going to be hard for you over the next few weeks/months but it will get better.

Original poster

OriginalUglyBetty · 28/03/2009 07:47

Thank you for all you kind and helpful comments, glad to hear it does get better and im looking forward to when it does. Queenrollo the situation you were in sounds very similar to what im going through now and thanks for taking the time to post x

OP posts:

queenrollo · 28/03/2009 09:03

i'll keep an eye on this thread if you need any more support, or have any questions.

Original poster

OriginalUglyBetty · 29/03/2009 11:23

OMG this is awful im going to pieces everytime i see him. Its just like for the last nine years if there has ever been anything going crap he would just cuddle me and tell me everything was gonna be ok, it is so hard as after all this time i still love him so much but cant be with him and rather than the holding me i just have to listen to the sound of him walking away

I know i should just pull myself together but i cant seem to shake, we have agreed to sit and talk wednesday again re the formalities (mortgage etc) but i just cant seem to hold a sentenance together. When its just us two. I wont let the children see me cry so have gone upstairs a few times to have a blurb.

I just wish there was someway to stop feelin like this its vile x sorry to be back on her but my house is now empty and i needed to get it out!

OP posts:

queenrollo · 29/03/2009 20:57

it's very early days and you are bound to be highly emotional about this. Do you have other support, friends/family?
keep coming back here if you need to, i know for me it helped to write it down and get it out of my system....and to have people tell me all the things i was feeling were normal.

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