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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

If it's not a personal question....

8 replies

Wigglesworth · 27/03/2009 16:51

How often do you do the do with your DP/DH. I don't feel like we do it enough since having DS (now 8 months). We have done it a few times since I gave birth but nothing like we used to. We are both just too knackered and frankly want to go to sleep when we get into bed. Although I knew that it wouldn't be the same as it was pre-child, I would like to have a decent sex life. We just don't feel like it, it's not like my DH and I don't find each other attractive anymore and he defo isn't getting it elsewhere. Does it ever return to normal and how do you get back into it?

OP posts:

Hassled · 27/03/2009 16:59

8 months is no time at all. You'll get back into it, don't fret.

dizietsma · 27/03/2009 16:59

Give it time, things will get easier and you'll both get your groove back. Took us at least a year to start having regular sex, further year for things to be as great as they had been before.

WeakattheKnees · 27/03/2009 17:00

It should return to normal but please please please sort this out before you do damage to your marriage. It's all too common. Get a baby sitter, relax together, go out together, get some romance back before it is too late.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 27/03/2009 22:32

And don't wait till bedtime for sex. Grab a quickie on the sofa, or in the kitchen...

FAQinglovely · 27/03/2009 22:34

"And don't wait till bedtime for sex. Grab a quickie on the sofa, or in the kitchen... "

The words that show that the poster that surely only has very young children still -

CarGirl · 27/03/2009 22:36

it's one of those things the longer you go without the less you want it which is dangerous. Try and get back into it and you'll suddenly remember why it's worth the effort despite the sleep deprevation!

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 27/03/2009 22:38

Sorry FAQ, no, mine are grown up and the opportunity for a quickie on the sofa has long gone. The sofa is occupied by bloody teenages.

It's possible I don't fully recall having only an eight-month old, though.

Actually, mine both slept through the night by then, so the exhaustion wasn't quite so bad.

solidgoldbrass · 27/03/2009 22:39

'A few times' in 8 months since a birth is not bad at all.But do try and schedule some 'couple time' maybe once a fortnight at least, now your LO is 8 months old you can get a babysitter and go to the pub or the cinema or for a meal or something and just hang out with each other -that generally helps you remember that you are lovers as well as parents. What is a very good sign is it sounds like both of you feel roughly the same: would like more sex but feel a bit knackered.

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