Advice for my friend please.

[fleurlechaunte]

Friends dh went out last night came home at 2 am, very drunk. She went through his pockets and found a prostitues card. He says that he picked it up when drunk and didn't even know he had it.

What would you think and what would you do.
? I think he either used it or had every intention of doing but was too drunk but I have a very low opinion of men. What do you think?

Hmmmmm, dunno. Drink is a good excuse for many things but having the card doesn't mean he did anything. It's another one of those ones where lack of proof comes into play.

I wouldn't be best pleased if it was my DH and he would be mortified and wholly embarrassed at having the card never mine if he actually done anything, so I dunno, I guess it depends on what kind of person he is.

One of my thoughts would be that if he was so drunk and didn't know what he was doing...then if he did do anything, did he use protection?

He is a bit of an arse to be honest. Goes out a lot and leaves her with dc. Does not really share the load.

Will bring up the using protection issue with her.

Why would he pick up the card unless he was going to use it? Are they easy to find or do you have to seek them out? Don't enough about this I suppose.

i think these are the cards u find in every phone box (sometimes in toilets)
i wouldnt think having the card means that he was DEF gonna call them.
may have picked it up in bravado as joke.
hard to bring it up when its found as a result of going down someones pockets too....very tricky

I have no idea how you would get one of these cards but I remember being in London and the phone boxes were plastered with them. Don't know if that is still the case? Where I live, I have never seen anything like that anywhere so maybe it depends where they live and if those cards are easy to come by?

If he is a bit of an arse, that would make me more cynical though and some very serious talking would take place. If he can't remember anything, I'd insist on him visiting a GUM clinic before I partook in any intimacy with him.

Not sure I buy into this being tricky to bring up because of going through his pockets. Lucky she did I think or she wouldn't have know and may have been putting her own health at risk. Just asked her if she "went through" them and she said no, phone had fallen out of pocket and the card was sort of stuck to it.

known

Yep, how she found it doesn't really matter. It is the fact that she did find it.

The odds that this is first time/accident/too drunk are zero. This guy uses prostitutes. Men can find these cards easily in the "wrong part of town" and call the girl who will be working nearby. He might have had a few more drinks afterwards so that tells nothing. "luckily" I would think all girls insist on protection so that side of it should be OK.

I think that too WATK. Turns out this is not the first time she has found such an item. The f*cker can't even be bothered to get rid of the evidence . So what does she do? She won't post on here herself. Says it is too embarassing. Personally think she should chuck him out but I don't think she will.

She should throw him out. Never knew she had found these things before What a shame for your friend

If caught and confronted men will inevitably lie through their teeth to get out of it.... and then be sure not to make the same mistake again. This guy sounds like a plonker as well as a real shit. My first thought was get your friend to take some time and think about her own situation, finances, family and so on. But then again maybe a knee in the balls is more appropriate.

If it isn't the first time then it isn't innocent.

Yeuk, I wouldn't even let him kiss me again.

What a horrible situation.

Well she confronted and he said "well what am I supposed to do, WE don't have sex anymore". She agrees that they don't because she caught him with a card previously and insisted that he get checked out. He has not bothered to do this so she refused to have sex with him until he did. He drinks alot and generally behaves like a bit of a knob and she says that everytime she gets to a point where she might want to sleep with him he does something else crappy like staying out all night etc and puts them back again.

Sounds bloody hopeless to me. She actually thinks it might be partly her fault because she won't sleep with him .

Oh and apparently he also has "psychological issues" as in "well obviously I have psychological issues and that why I do it".

OMG, he sounds like a catch

So he is blaming your friend because he can't keep it in his pants. I don't suppose he talked to her about the lack of sex when it first became apparent and made agreements to start the ball rolling with a bit of romance, attention etc? I don't get the part where some people think it is ok to just go out and secretly shag others rather than either trying to sort their problems out or leaving their current partners first.

He should be ashamed of himself and if they have children, he should be double, triple ashamed. Tosser.