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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Annoyed at SIL and MIL

3 replies

yawningprincess · 26/03/2009 11:32

Hi ladies don't know what I am wanting in return but just want to vent it really...
I have a real issue with my MIL and SIL.
Everything they do annoys me, they are thick as thieves and play dumb all the time. For example yesterday I wrote a note to one of the playgroup moms about my dd being poorly and that I didn't understand where she has got yet another bought of illness from when all her little friends are so healthy, yarned on about how breast feeding exclusively didn't make a difference- just a general moan really. Anyway dh came home all upty saying his mother had called him asking him about my dd illness and that she had not been kept in the 'loop'. She has a cold, I may have moaned about it but only because I am pg, knackered and have a whingy 14 month old needing to be picked up 14hrs a day! Anyway she most likely told her vile daughter who has since put on facebook that she is now only coming on occasionally because it does her head in- which I feel is slightly directed at me because I didn't ring her mom and give her a blow by blow account of my dd bowel movements that day.

My SIL is a selfish self centred person. She thinks the world revolves round her and although she is older than me expects everyone to do everything for her. For example she is getting married next year and her parents are paying for everything. We paid for our own wedding as we decided it that way, not saying she is wrong for expecting her parents to pay but considering her dad was made redundant she flew into a mad tantrum about not being able to have a £1800 PHOTOGRAPHER and then has the cheek to turn round when I am showing an interest and giving her ideas etc to say 'it won't be as grand as your wedding' wtf!?

Little things like I know every present she buys for my dd, dh or me has been bought and paid for by my mil- Honestly don't want anything from her on bdays xmas etc if she can't afford it we understand but she needs to stand on her own two feet as she is 28. Her parents still take her food shopping, firstly because she doesn't drive and then secondly because they generally can't afford it.

My dh has always been independent and I know people are different but it enrages me how she goes on. Plus she used to be in child minding- never used to bloody turn up to work mind- but my mil always goes on about what a super mom she is going to be one day because she has worked as a childminder in a nursery! But thats a different issue althogether that just pisses me off because I am doing it here and now and I never get any comments about my parenting except for when I stopped bf my dd and they were glad I stopped all that 'hippy dippy' stuff!

Anyway back to that facebook comment, shall I ask her out right whether it was directed at me? And if her answer is no shall I just blame it on pregnany paranoia? Becuase it's festering away at me today and this is not the first time she has directed gutless comments at me, but I just sit back and ride it out but to be honest I am sick of doing that.

Anyway I could bore you all day and writes reams of examples but I just would like an opinion really as I am feeling fired up and ready call but then I would like a clear thinking mnetter to advise first!!!

OP posts:
mumblechum · 26/03/2009 11:48

I think you need to have as little to do with your inlaws as possible if you're getting this upset about stuff which to an outsider is pretty trivial.

Why do you need to have anything to do with your SIL/MIL other than at family gatherings/Xmas or whatever?

Concentrate on friends and your own family and cut them out as much as you can without being impolite.

abitchilly · 26/03/2009 11:49

Ok don't understand how your note to playgroup mum got back to mil.

Then have no clue how sil's facebook note that coming onto facebook 'does her head in' could have ANY reference to you whatsoever.

They sound a pain but without understanding the above, I can't be sure what to say.

Oh, apart from DON'T phone her and ask if the comment was directed at you or you will sound utterly deranged... (and of course she'd just deny it and you'd look deranged anyway).

lilacclaire · 26/03/2009 12:49

I don't really understand what your problem is, but as your in laws annoy you so much, do yourself and them a favour and try not to be as involved with them.

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