jealousy - can't shake it

[profiterole]

my dh and i have been together for over 10 years.

he is very honest and i trust him with my life.

for as long as i can remember i have aways been very jealous of attractive females that he comes into contact with at work etc.

nothing has happened that would make me distrust him but i do distrust the other women.

i hate feeling like this - but i don't know how to stop this negative cycle of jealousy.

I dunno, I think it is partly natural but if you trust him then you shouldn't worry about it and if you trust him, it will not matter if Cindy Crawford tries it on, he will say "no thanks, I'm married".

I always try to find something nice to say when I see someone who is gorgeous and my DHs tongue is hanging out like "oh, that woman has beautiful hair" or something. DH's only human and my DH would suck his belly in if Brad Pitt walked past so it does go both ways and is harmless

does he flirt back a little bit or look impressed? are you worried that he has the hots for these ladies?

I am wondering if the cause of your jealousy is in fact his perceived reaction to these women.

you say you distrust the women but obviously they can't do anything in a vacuum...

sorry for multiple posts - just wanted to qualify - i am not suggesting you DH is encouraging their behaviour, just trying to understand exactly what the issue is...

I'm the same..
Try to find something nice to say about the girl he is goggling at..it makes them
A)Think you don't give a shit
B)Brings to their attention the fact that you have noticed

My DP, i go to see him at work every day at his request to take him his flask ect, and break up his day.. one time i went there, he was driving up the road as i was coming down and i saw him nearly hit the central res when he gawked out the window at some girl.
It made me laugh tbh, but there have been times, like when we went shopping once, and he fluttered his eyelashes at a girl, and winked..we were with his 2 nephews (both grown up) so i assume as they found it funny that he was trying to be a clown.. however, i was 8 1/2 months pg and so was NOT amused.

I am still cooking up a revenge tactic

Now i've had the baby, and can dress like a yummy mummy ......

I buy him magazines and the sport ect so he knows i'm not particularly bothered about OW, after all, they are everywhere, you can't change that.. And yes, it doesn't help when you KNOW a wedding ring is seen sometimes as a 'challenge' to some people but they are hopefully few and far between.. There is nothing that can take away that sick angry feeling you get constantly if you've got a jealous nature I suddenly realised one day there was no point in tormenting myself with it, and gave it up, i spent three years alone which helped my self esteem no end, and also it helps if you realise, HE loves YOU .. not any of those 'gorgeous' girls, who probably have a lot of slap on and need a jackhammer to take it off before they go to bed.
Look at yourself in the mirror and realise why he loves you, and also, what he loves on the INSIDE of you, your personality ect, cos, yeah, some people have the looks, but we all get old....and when we do, what have we got to make people like us but our personality .. good looking people who rely on it to get on in life, and don't bother developing a personality, where are they gonna end up when their looks are gone south?

Trust me, your DH knows where his bread is buttered and thats worth a million Bless him.

When you realise you are better than anyone in his eyes, and you accept that you are too, you won't need to be jealous flower at all

i found after i had ds all of a sudden i felt jealous of every woman but it was because i knew i wasn't making much effort with myself anymore i have since started exercising make more effort have noticed its my slobby days i feel insecure other than that i gain quite a bit of attention when out myself so know its natural for men and he does come home to me and does love me so i guess a glance isn't going to hurt

that was such a lovely post StercusAccidit thank you

bubblagirl - my self esteem is quite low at the mo we have got a 6 month old ds and things are only just getting back into shape bodywise.
It is almost as though i feel that looking the way i do i can't fight my corner. does that make sense?

siffuentes i do trust him 100%, he is very good looking though and i see women look twice at him.

No probs
Of course it makes sense But you have given him a lovely baby i'm sure he thinks you are the most beautiful woman on the face of this earth.
DP can look at who he likes IMO
I have a beautiful DS, ok my body looks like its been trampled on by a fat gorilla and i'm up to my armpits in nappies, smell of baby sick..don't get chance to brush my hair a lot of the time let alone get any slap on..
He's no sodding oil painting anyway
Actually, i consider him to be good looking.. he did do something while i was PG that would be as good a reason as any for me not to trust him but i know he knows what he stands to lose, and i don't think he would risk it again, he wouldn't get another like me if he looked for a lifetime..maybe better looking, maybe more glamorous, but not as good natured, kind, and willing to put up with his crap and the crap that accompanies him in the shape of his ExP Troll that she is... He may consider himself quite a catch lol but he is not so nice on the inside.. he knows i stand a chance of getting with someone else who would love and respect me, and he knows i have a nice personality which will outlast my looks..

So, like i posted to someone the other day..
He might not notice that i look nice, or have had my hair done, but by the same token, he loves me even if i look like i have been dragged through a bush backwards through a pile of baby sick and nappies As , i am sure, does your DH

You have given him a wonderful gift that no one else could give. Your body has signs i would wear as a badge of honour with pride and know that my body had produced a whole new life..and go easier on myself
You have nothing to be jealous of..what could any of these women give to DH that you haven't

thanks

I am the same.....although I do feel it should be the other way round as I am 10 years younger than my DP!!! I have no advice but wanted to say you're not alone in feeling this way! x