Feel so upset with my Mam, and dont know how to (or even if I should) make it right

[BettySwollux]

My Mam has needed help with a business thing recently, lots of computer stuff involved, which she isnt great with.
I go whenever she asks, and keep in touch by phone.
I am SAHM with 18mo DS2, who I have to take with me when I go.
She complains about this, and says, come when DH is home, so we can get more done.
Fair enough, says I, I will come wednesday night (DS1 has activities tue and thurs, DH out on a friday) she says, "NO, I am going to bingo"
"Ok, I said, I can come saturday eve"
"No, I am going to bingo" says Mam.
DS2 has toddler group tue, wed and thurs mornings, but she rings me up on monday night and says "come here for 11am, as X is here and will take DS2 for a walk.
I say I cant come then, as will be at playgroup, I will come at 1.30pm.
So I go, X has gone home, and she moans about DS2 again, and gets completely outraged that I wont drop everything to be there when she wants me.
Then I get a whole load of nasty emails and texts calling me a sanctimonious cow among other things. I was a bit nasty back (told her to sort her fucking business herself) which I apologised for.

I go today to take her some flowers for Mothers day.
She stands in the doorway and says "Ta"
I ask if I can come in, or if she still isnt speaking to me, she says "Ive never stopped speaking to you, but I wont take shit from you! Come in if you like"
I go in, sit down, and she ignores me for 25 mins and watches the news.
So I get up to leave, explaing DS1 needs a lift somewhere, and I have to go.

Not a word till I reach the door, then, "Thanks for them, then,".

I have explained that I have a life of my own, which basically revolves around the kids and DH, that I will always try to help if she needs it, but I wont be dictated to with a 'get here right now' type of attitude.
She rarely says please or thankyou, and wont rearrange her bingo so that I can go and help.
I dont think I am the one being unfair here, and she really hurt me today by ignoring me.
Any advice please?

I think you are doing the right thing - help out when you can but don't pander to her.

You are doing the right thing. If it is THAT important, surely she can miss Bingo one night. SHE is the one who needs help, so she has to fit in with your schedule.

Thanks.
She doesnt see it that way, she sees it as she is doing this to make a bit of money, which will be my inheritance when she dies.
Ive told her, I dont care if she leaves nothing, I would rather she blew the bloody lot on a world cruise and had a bit of happiness.
The reply to that was "Dont be so bloody ridiculous, and who would I go with anyway?? Im doing this for you!"
So, by her reasoning, if she's doing this for my benefit, than I should drop everything and rush over when she cant open the email attachment or copy something to memory stick.

Please don't feel bad as that is what she wants

If that is her attitude then most certainly drop everything and rush over when she asks!

If she tries it again say something to her liek: "well, I have DS and if you want to see me on my own then I can only come at X,Y,Z time. Otherwise I can't do it".

Easier said than done, I understand that. She sounds demanding and a PITA.

Sorry that should be most certainly DON'T drop everything!

Have lost ability to type coherently this am.

Emotional blackmail. Tell her that you are responsible for/capable of making your own money and that she is responsible for hers. What she does with it is her own business (no pun intended!).

The answer to the question in your OP title is no, you shouldnt be trying to make things right - she should.

You have been more then generous with your time and flexible, despite having other committments. She is playing nasty power games.

Dont give in. If she wants your help, she should fit in with when you can do it, not the other way around. As for the "I'm doing it all for you" rubbish - its not even worth getting into a discussion about it.

She sounds jealous that you have a life of your own.

So when/if her business makes any money she won't touch a penny of it? It'll all go into an account from which ONLY YOU can withdraw money? She's doing it for you? Bollocks.

Sorry. Go when you can if you want to, otherwise let her mess it up herself. Do you think if the whole thing goes tits up she'll blame you?

JUX, yes, when the whole thing goes tits up, no doubt I WIL be blamed (as I obv hadnt done enough).
She says she is sick of the whole thing and has put it all in my name now, so I HAVE to deal with it!! FFS, I didnt want this.
And, if she had listened to me when she started this whole debacle, we wouldnt be in half the shit now trying to sort it out, but noooo, my opinion wasnt good enough then!!

I doubt very much that she can sign a business over to you without your permission/signature Is she normally like this?

TPL, yes I signed, as she said she was worried about dying, as the business is in a different country.
BUT, she said she would continue dealing with it, and this was just a formality. I feel like Ive been duped into taking over her business. She knows I wanted nothing to do with it, as I declined when she first started 4 years ago.

And yes, she is normally very controlling.

Well, seeing as how it's now your busines..you could just wind it down, couldn't you? Or sell it off?

She can't do anything abou it because it's YOUR business.

Hey, you signed the documents!

Janos, yes that would be lovely, but she decided to do things her way (backhanders, no proper contract in place, dodgy fucker as POA etc)so, what she wants is to get rid, but there are so many loose ends to tie up, and the matter of it being abroad, and, oh god, its all too much!!!!
AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!

That sounds a bit worrying Betty. Would you be liable for her debts or even legally liable for the "dodgyness"?

Yes that is concerning. Bloody hell, poor you being landed with this.

Your mum sounds like a bit of nightmare really.

That does sound very worrying. Maybe the best thing you could do would be is to play the dutiful daughter and get this disaster business wound up, and then tell her that you don't want any part of her financial dealings ever again. Poor you, what a situation to find yourself in. But please NEVER put your signature to something unless you have complete knowledhe and control over, even if it is your mother asking you to do it.

Thanks for the replies.
I dont actually know if I would be liable for debts or dodgyness. If they come looking for money, they will have a long wait as we are just getting by, house is rented, so at least they cant repossess us.
We have a new POA now, so hopefully, she can sort things a bit better, my problem is, I just dont know what Im doing, so I just go to Mams and help to sort out what she asks re sending emails/ sorting out filing etc.
I have learnt my lesson though, and will never sign my name without knowing 100% what Im doing - you just think you can trust your Mam, dont you?