Is it time.......

[prettyfly1]

for stricter moderation on mumsnet. Over the last few weeks there have been a number of threads that have resulted in extreme nastiness and cyber bullying, which is so sad, when this site was built to allow women to support one another. I dont mean restricting the right to free speech but I just saw another thread where it is happening and tbh it is making me a little sad? Anyone else feel the same or is it just me??

I just find it sad how mean women can sometimes be but then remind myself how amazing MNers have been in the past.

I have missed these threads. Is it really that bad? I still find it a supportive and friendly place. (I do avoid the obviously murky threads though).

Nabster you do have a point. There are some amazingly supportive threads on here but so many that are mean. A few that stick out are:

The one with the woman whose husband had been abusing her daughter who was absolutely hammered for not understanding the social care system.

The one where someones husband having an affair had put up a very long post but hadnt put up very good grammar and she was really abused.

Any thread where the woman has or is having an affair.

The one on Jade goody currently running where someone said that noone should be upset or express sadness as she was a "vulgar, ignorant racist".

The one earlier last week where the woman had hit the woman who slept with her husband. I didnt agree with it either but the stream of nastiness she got was breathtaking.

The one where the wife and mistress were both on the threads as were mistresses friends who took it in turn to abuse the wife.

I dont want to see the spontaneity and fun on mumsnet taken away but at the same time, I really do believe that closer watching is called for. It is so important that different views are put across but incidences of swearing and name calling should be stopped much quicker.

This is the only forum I have read where moderation is almost non-existant. I think some kind of more active moderation is needed, in order to stop some of the more hurtful posts.

I am being rather cynical here, but I do wonder if the owners of this site prefer not to moderate as a) it would make a lot more work for them to constantly look at every post and b) the frankness of Mumsnet means that it attracts lots of viewings and therefore they make £££s through selling advertising to a very wide audience.

Iam being rather cynical here, but I do wonder if the owners of this site prefer not to moderate as a) it would make a lot more work for them to constantly look at every post and b) the frankness of Mumsnet means that it attracts lots of viewings and therefore they make £££s through selling advertising to a very wide audience.

i agree.

I didnt use to think that - I have always been a massive mn fan - i love mn local - and in the early days justine et al were very active on the site but these days it has become a free for all. I understand that moderating everything would be difficult but as a moderator on another major forum that can easily receive 8000 visits in a few hours at peak time, it can be done and not at major expense.

I'm firmly against moderation here! Besides, you can already report threads to be removed.

Takes ages tho linden lass. One person in the stepparent forum had to wait nearly two weeks for a thread to be removed.

I think the members tend to moderate themselves. Isn't there always someone prepared to jump in and tell someone else that what they've said is uncalled for?

So how many of the "really hurtful" posts have you lot reported then?

This site is self moderated (largly) if you feel something is not right, do something about it!

I was on the thread where the wife slapped the OW. Yes there were some strong opinons aired but there were strong opinions from both sides. People were there supposrting the op as much as they were there slatting her.

Yes this site is different to other sites - that is bcause it is a different site to other sites. People have to learn how to use it properly and respect it!

I also notice that some people lamenting the evils of some posters can be quite strong in their opinions too!

Jux there is but there have been a few times recently that it seems to have gotten out of hand with an awful lot of swearing etc which just isnt called for. One person calling another a dxxk etc. If i see that happening I do report it and I do say something. In the same way that if someone were being rude or offensive in real life I would ask them to stop.

I dont think stopping posts is necessarily right but I do think maybe a quick intervention every now and then would help.
It is brilliant that opinions can be aired the way they are here and there are a number of fights between people that lead to much better understanding on both sides, but there are also some that just turn very cruel and I worry that people who may consider using the site would be turned off by it.

PF, I am pretty sure that MNHQ have balanced the fear of newbies being put off with the evils of over moderation. THey are quite a bright bunch up there at the Towers.

Yes people say things here they would not say face to face - that is part of the attraction, you can give and ask for a true opinion you would not get elsewhere. Sometimes that leads to name calling and the like. Some people cope and get past it, some don't and go away a little wiser.

I am not really sure what the big deal is, sorry. This thread has been done time and time again on here and it changes nothing because the vast majority of people are happy with the status que.

i don't agree the nastyness at all. having a disagreement is different, but sheer nasty is not good at all. however I don't sgree with moderation.. we are all adults here and all capable to step in and stop any bullying going on i'm sure.

have to say that everyone on MN has been really nice about the awful spelling and grammer I use mind you I do tend to say sorry a lot for it ( just one of my quirks).

that will be quo not que

I also agree that, on any of the threads you have mentioned, there has been someone there to say "hey, you are going too far".

Lol - just about to go see son and enjoy evening with him but couldnt go without laughing at kingcanute - nice example of self moderation (not meant meanly by the way - genuinly well timed).

I wanted opinions on both sides so its interesting to hear what people think. Thanks for sharing. I hadnt seen other threads on it, which is why I asked but for myself personally, I would prefer a mumsnet where people didnt call each other swear words. Moderated or otherwise - its not on.

And I know they are quite bright - that is why I have been here for so long

Not sure what I think about the moderation. Maybe one of those warnings which appear at the top of a topic would be more appropriate to change attitudes rather than enforce them.

If I had it my way, it would respectfully ask posters to

• read what has actually been said properly before replying rather than jumping to conclusions
• take into account that poor spelling and grammar may be due to dyslexia rather than ignorance
• remember that disagreement does not necessarily = attack.

Having said that, being a massive hypocrite at the best of times, if I read a reminder like that, I'd probably find it pretty patronising

have to take it back and apologise. Reported a post a couple of hours ago and it has already been deleted. Thanks mumsnet!!!!