we keep arguing in front of Ds

[mumnotarobot]

So...ive been my partner for almost 4 years. I have a 6yr old Ds who he has taken as his own from early on in our relationship.But he lives in another borough and due to workhe has to live there, However i want to move things on. I want to get married, start a family of our own and although he says he wants the same, he doesnt want it now. I would say he is a pretty good dad although we dont see much of him during the week, which i dont think is good enough.
Today we had a stupid row in front of Ds in the streets which i really hated and it was all because he was taking him to his house for the weekend. But i felt like he did not seem engaged and wanted to make sure my son was going to be properly taken care off.

We are both in our late 20's. But i dont feel like i am in a relationship at all. I dont even feel like i have a partner. We talk maybe twice in the week on the phone and see him maybe once a week. I miss him not being around and when he is i become rather grumpy because i know it is only a matter of time before he has to leave again.

Anyways he has taken 'our son' for the weekend so i can have a rest on mothers day. But i feel he has to be constantly asked before he does anything.And after three years of being with someone you would think some things should be natural.

I am fed up and not 'inlove' with him anymore. I do love him. But i honestly feel that something needs to change if we are to have any chance in making this relationship work. He just doesnt seem to be getting that something needs to change. I know he tries his best, he really does. We have been thorugh alot and he has been my rock when i needed a friend. And in all honesty i couldnt ask for a better friend. But i want more form our relationship.

He doesnt seem to understand that i am tired becuase i am constantly having to do it 'alone' and it doesnt make me feel like i have a partner when i have no support and i have to always nag in order to get heard.

Please give me some advice...im thinking about couple counselling.
Thanks in advance

any help???

Um, mumnotarobot, forgive me, but this does not sound like a relationship at all. Talk twice a week on the phone? see him once a week? how old are you? is he in boarding school? Not trying to be horrible, but thats what it seems like. Nobody has to live in another borough because of work(though I'm sure there are exceptions I cant think of). It just sounds really really weird. And you clearly think so too.

I know. Well slight exaggeration about the phone conversations. We tend to talk alot on the phone but mostly two days in the week we would have lenghtly conversations. He lived in a different borough before we met and we did live together very early on into the relationship and could not 'cope' with not having his space so he moved out. The thing is things wernt this bad.
It is obvious something has to change and what i need more is advice and ideas more than remarks which i respect is derserving but not very helpful.
Thanks

Ok, so how do you you think things should change and what steps can you take to change them?

And is he willing to talk?

it sounds quite difficult- do you think you have a good relationship in rl?(As opposed as it may come acrosss in a few sentences om here)