So my ex, dds dad has just made a strange offer...

[Lmccrean]

We go to vist him in England occasionally (we live in NI) and despite him living in a shared house with 4 or 5 other people, we were able to stay with him (inflatable bed on floor etc)

Now he lives in a different house and theres no room for us to stay. I suggested that dd stay with him and Ill make alternate arrangements (thinking a few days to myself wouldnt go a miss!)

Hes just emailed me this morning saying that his most recent ex (who he is still in love with) has offered to let me and dd stay at hers if we come over at Easter. Depending on when we go, she may not even be there.

But is it just me who finds this suggestion totally inappropriate? He cant see a problem with it.

She sounds like a nice woman. It's unusual, but I wouldn't say inappropriate. She's doing him a favour - no more or less than that. Go for it.

? How bizarre of the woman! Maybe it's her idea of making him see that HER relationship with him is over, and that you being there is a reminder to HIM that it's all off..? Can't see any other reason why you'd have strange people staying over really. Unless as a house sitter? Does she have pets that need watering?

Based on the information you've given, 'totally inappropriate' is a bit strong, as 'we' don't know all the ins and outs of the various relationships.

But yes, it does seem a bit weird. Don't do it if you're even remotely uncomfortable with the situation. Why can't he visit you?

Ooh hassled, I've agreed with you again

I have invited my ex husbands ex girlfriend to stay with us, she is I suppose dd stepmum, they only recently split. I didnt think I was being innapropriate.

sounds all right to me

i have good friendships with my 1st dh exs, all very nice women, he likes to see us all together, with the dcs (although we actually have no dc together) can get quite complicated but seems to work

She does have pets Luxmum! And he mentioned I could help out with them as a thank you, but he lives closeby and could do that.

Would you invite your ex partners NW to stay at your house?

Ive never met her btw

I thnk it's not inappropriate unless you still have issues with him being your ex, ie you want to be with him?

I don't think its inappropriate. The bloke is obviously just trying to do everything within his power to be able to spend some time with his daughter.

No, I dont want to be with him, but its still a bit odd knowing that he loves this other woman and I would be staying in her house, and my dd playing with her dds toys and....well, I see the general consensus is that it would be ok.

He can, and does, come over here to see dd, but we go there occasionally as we want to visit his parents and family who live over there.

Well, lots of people wouldn't think twice about having a "friend of a friend" to stay, even if it was an "ex of an ex" rather than any old friend, if they were still all on friendly terms.

Up to you if you want to take her up on it of course, but i don't think there's anything fundamentally odd about the idea.

Maybe she just wants to do a nice thing.....

Maybe Nabster. And he loves her, so im sure she is nice and all. But Ive never spoken to her, never mind meet her and shes not even my "friend" on facebook .

I am clearly not as nice, laid-back and understanding as I thought I was...maybe Ill learn something from this...

Why is it innappropriate? It sounds generous to me.

Well I would do it but then again me and exdh are good friends as is my boyfriend and his exdw.

I'd ring her or at the very least get her on you FB