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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

too good to leave, but too bad to stay?

6 replies

cantgoonlikethis · 20/03/2009 11:45

I have reached a crossroads in my lief and have no idea which way to turn and am hoping you lovley mumsnetters might be able to offer me an objective opinion.

Dh and i have been together 8 years, have 3 yo ds. Have had lots of terrible (really terrible ) rows in past, both of our fulats. His shouting when angry and generl behaviour when angry has frightened me on many occasions (he knows this). I left last year and ended up getting invloved with someone else. Dh knows all about this. Dh can be very kind and thoughtful and we have a lovley house and earns alot of money. However we hardly ever have sex (i don't really want to and he's not that bothered although said if i were more postive about things, he d be more inclined to, however hasn't happened much in the past), i don't feel that close to him (more of a friend really), we are at opposite end of the scale in terms of being emotional, dealing with stress, planning things, etc. The other man is gentle, more in touch with his and my emotions and i do fancy him. he doesn't earn as much and the financil side owrries me as bit and i worry most about disrupting ds's life, ans also regretting leaving dh. help please, i'm going out of my mind

OP posts:
Alibabaandthe40nappies · 20/03/2009 11:58

It sounds like you are only staying with your DH for his money . If they earned the same then which of them would you choose?

If your DH scares you when he gets angry then that is wrong, and you shouldn't put up with that regardless of whether he's a pauper or a millionaire.

VinoEsmeralda · 20/03/2009 12:01

Money isnt everything happyness it though (you cant buy happyness)

sayithowitis · 20/03/2009 12:01

Hello again my mittens/littlemucky etc etc etc ..............................................................

VinoEsmeralda · 20/03/2009 12:18

happiness even

Songbird · 20/03/2009 12:20

Yes, definitely got deja vu. Hope everything works out for you - I think you know what you need to do!

frazzledgirl · 20/03/2009 14:32

I was wondering how long it would take you to post again!

You're posting almost compulsively every few days, getting the same advice every single time and not acting on it.

Mumsnet clearly can't sort this out for you. There are a lot of sympathetic people here who would like to help - but you're alienating them by constant repetition.

Please, please, just for once come back to one of your threads and actually discuss this, rather than namechanging and starting again.

FWIW, it's pretty clear to me that you want to leave your husband but are scared to start again, with less money. That is no reason to stay with someone. I can see you yo-yoing back and forth for years, which will mess your son up far worse than making a clean break now.

I'm saying this in an honestly-trying-to-help way.

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