jaybird, my mother is indian and my mil is white
this is the first time i am putting this down in writing (even embarassed and feel guilty for saying this)..but, id much rather my mil have my ds than my own mother!
my mother smothers him far too much, it must be an indian thing, she doesnt and never has let ds come around to the environment, soon as i knock the door, she is in his face, which makes him not want to go to her
as for the social gathering, ride this one through, i know he will be whisked off, but you just wait and see, when he is older he will be overwhelmed by it all and not want to go off to all these strangers...he will cling to you
it wasnt long ago that i was panicking that ds would be whisked off (indian social event) im indian and know how they can be!!....it turned out ds clung onto me like there was no tomorrow, he is 3 in june
so even though your ds doesnt look like you and more like your dh, soon your ds will be expressing what he wants when he talks, and trust me, you will know he is your son even if theres a million indians around!
i think the fact that originially your mil didnt accept you, yet accepted your ds (her grandchild) straight away is still playing in your mind....i feel like this with my mother, she never accepted dh (white)at first but accepted our ds when he was born...obviously i wouldnt change a thing, im glad they accepted ds, but i can see where u are coming from