I've thrown him out... what now?

[Thisispants]

I have had enough of the verbal abuse, name calling, arguments over money, all his problems being taken out on me alone so I've told him not to come back. I'm 2mths pregnant and my DS is 13mths- how will I cope? I feel sad and alone and i'm struggling to cope.

You are right Cheerfulvicky, thank you. How long ago did you split from your ex? How are you managing?

I will try to avoid talking to him at all in future. He text last night saying he misses us far too much. How weird, then , that he doesn't want his son on Tuesday. It's just all bullshit isn't it? I ignored it.

I'm really not sleeping well at all- everything is going round and round in my head at night. I can't seem to switch off. How long does this last? I can cope in the day by keeping busy but what to do at night?

Its called control TIP thats what its all about - my ex is the same - still says he lovd me misses us wants to see his DC more.....but wont have them if he thinks in anyway I might be out doing something
We have been split nearly 3 years living apart 2 and a half, its complicated by the fact that the OW has his baby nearly 2 and my DD2 is 14 months - but I have a lovely NM I believe he is now back with OW, but he still messes with my head and tries to control me all the time...
You will get better at dealing with him and not getting upset by him I promise, but I do sometimes think about moving far far away
I do believe that for men like this their DC are just another means of control

"It's just that he said he wouldn't get to see much of DS, so I said well could you have him tuesday evening because I am supposed to be going out for meal? He said no."

Did you tell him it was because you were supposed to be going out for a meal though?
Never tell him what you intend to do, are doing or have done while he has DS. Lie if necessary.
Not only is it none of his business but it sounds as if you may be seeing contact as doing you a favour, especially if he thinks you're seeing someone else.

I'm sorry your going through it too macdoodle. You know, I never thought of him as controlling. I think he is doing it to spite me, which is sad, because that means he will sacrifice seeing his son just to spite me.

He has phoned making it clear he wants to sort things out. I have said no there is no chance we can sort things out. Not heard from him since then but I have just got back from shopping and have seen his car go past the house. I have locked the door as he still hsn't returned the key. I am leaving my key in the door so he shouldn't be able to get in while I am in. I am not scared for us. He has never got physical, only threatened to.

I keep remembering things he has said in the past and I'm going to put them on here so I can remind myself why I am doing this if I ever feel weak. On holiday last year he threatened to smash my head off the car. He has said he would like to punch me in the face. He suggested I should have an abortion as he doubted my ability to cope with 2, when the baby was tried for. I told him I had an eating disorder, he said I was mental, he din't see how anyone could love me and to get the fuck out of his car or he would drag me out.