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Relationships

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Original poster

Young Lover Turmoil

17 replies

oldfiddle · 18/03/2009 11:54

The title says it all. Please be gentle.

Basically have known this young man for a while met through friends, well lately we have ended up in the same company socially, then about 4 weeks ago we ended up snogging, exchanged numbers so we have been texting and he has been popping round for a coffee and we have been watching films, been to the picture a couple of times. Just basically enjoying each others company as we have alot in common despite the age difference, he is 20 and I am mid 30's. And he keeps saying that him & others can't understand that I am single as everyone thinks that I am gorgeous & why aren't I with anyone. Always paying me compliments.

Well a few days ago we ended up having sex & have had a couple more amazing sessions since . Very gentle always asking if I am alright, lots of kissing, stroking my face etc, more love making than just sex

Now I am in turmoil thinking that I have done something wrong as he is so young & how could he possibly find me attractive. And now he wants to take me out for a meal & I would like to go but I am worried what people will think.

Any advise would be most grateful.

OP posts:

BennyAndJoon · 18/03/2009 11:55

I would say go for it

Original poster

oldfiddle · 18/03/2009 12:03

I am just seeing it as a bit of fun as have only just got divorced after 12 years of marriage. I am worried that he might want more as I know he said a while ago that he was looking for a girlfriend.

OP posts:

ginnny · 18/03/2009 12:04

GO FOR IT!!!

He sounds lovely. Stop worrying about what others will think and enjoy yourself.

Portofino · 18/03/2009 12:05

Me too - Lucky sod! . I'd love enrique iglesias a nice young man to take me out for dinner and then shag me senseless. I don't expect my dh would be too happy about that though....

Original poster

oldfiddle · 18/03/2009 12:15

mm I would love enrique to take me out to.

Have just text him to say will go for the meal He is taking me out Thursday somewhere up market...

OP posts:

BennyAndJoon · 18/03/2009 12:23

When my husband left me 13 years ago I took up with a man nearly 8 years my junior, and made it clear that it was just for fun.

We now have 2 DCs and are married

Enjoy it and don't worry what anyone else thinks

Original poster

oldfiddle · 18/03/2009 12:28

Well I think I could cope better with 8 years than 15 years, but I am lucky that people think I am in my mid 20's, but different story when you look in the mirror, I just cant get my head round the fact that he finds me attractive & sexy.

OP posts:

mrsboogie · 18/03/2009 13:54

I have a six month old baby with a man who is 13 years younger than me - after 5 or 6 (I have lost count) very happy years together. We met when we were the same ages as you are now and it has been the best relationship I have ever had. It started off very very casual and as time went on we enjoyed each others company more and more and it became something more. My message to you is to take every chance of happiness that presents itself - if it turns into something more great - if it doesn't it will be no different to any other relationship that has come to its natural end. The only thing that matters is that you have enough in common (including mutual lust) to enjoy each others company.

I know that my relationship could end because of the age gap but if it does then I will have a beautiful son and several years of happiness that I would not have otherwise had. YOu never know where a relationship is going to end up when it starts - why not just enjoy the ride? (ahem)

ninah · 18/03/2009 13:55

aseriouslyblondemoment · 18/03/2009 13:57

if you're happy what's the problem sod everyone else

Original poster

oldfiddle · 18/03/2009 14:36

mrsboogie thats lovely yes its surprising how much we do have in common & can talk for hours & both enjoy each other in bed. For a young man he knows more about pleasing a woman than any other man I have known

I am worried about what people will say to him about seeing an older woman.

OP posts:

jesuswhatnext · 18/03/2009 14:36

i met my dh 15 years ago, he is 10 years younger than me, i thought at the time it was a 'bit of fun', turns out he is the love of my life

(pssst, he is still good in bed aswell )

Original poster

oldfiddle · 18/03/2009 15:53

When you first started going out did people say anything about the age gap?

OP posts:

jesuswhatnext · 18/03/2009 16:30

no, all the people we mix with + our families accepted us, as a couple, straight away. they were happy we had met each other.

sometimes i feel that we might look a fairly odd pair, dh is still looks young for his age and is a 'sharp dresser', pretty funky iyswim - on the other hand, i look quite young for my age too but am careful not to dress as if i am still in my 30s.

the only comments that were made were in regard to our (my) dd, she was 2 when we met, dh has bought her up as his, he is a lovely father - when he was 23 his mates were fairly horrifed he was taking on a child - the mates are now having their families, so have the 'delights' of sleepless nights, teething, no sex etc dh, otoh, has a 17yo dd (and the 'delights' that brings )

cheekysealion · 18/03/2009 17:01

if it feels good to you then please dont worry about what everyone is thinking...
enjoy yourself life is far to sort GO FOR IT!!!

and have lots and lots of fun

Original poster

oldfiddle · 18/03/2009 17:04

Yes I will try & stop worrying what people will think & just enjoy myself in everyway possible

OP posts:

mrsboogie · 18/03/2009 17:19

I have never ever had a single comment about our age gap - he looks young for his age and when we met so did I (actually right up until the sleepless nights courtesy of the baby ) but no-one seems to make anything of it. Maybe people have said things behind our backs - but then, who the hell cares about that!

Really its no big deal these days.

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