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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I feel like I HATE him at the moment ...

21 replies

Disenchanted3 · 18/03/2009 07:50

Yesterday my grandad who has lung cancer had a really bad turn, I was with him, held his haand, but its was terrifying, it really distressed and scared me.

I got home and was shakiy, I haven't been able to stop crying, he is stable now BTW.

DH was good with me last night,

but thisn morning baby wakes up at 6:45, she gets very upset very quickly so I ask him to go get a bottle, he is half asleep, baby is screaming, I have to ask him 4 times before I have to just give him baby to wake him up and go get bottle myself.

When I get back upstairs both toddlers are awake, they are jumping everywhere, DH is fast asleep within miniutes I am feeding baby.

I put kids TV on for them whilst Im sorting baby out.

ART 7:20 iVE HAD ENOUGH, i TRY TO WAKE dh UP

'CAN WE GO DOWN STAIRS PLEASE?

FAST ASLLEP.

'dh?? wAKE UP'

OPENS HIS EYES FOR 3 SECONDS THEN FAST ASLEPP AGAIN.

'dh PLEASE THE KIDS ARE PLAYING UP, i WANT TO TAKLE THEM DOWN STAIRS'

(shit sorry for the caps I dont have the energy to do it again!)

So this goes on for a few mins, he opens his eyes then closes again.

He can see Ive already been crying because of yesterday.

I say 'DH'

He opens his eyes, half sits up and says 'for fucks sake will you fucking shut up! i hate the way you whine my name'

I burst into tears , get baby out of moses basket, come down stairs crying, kids follow and hes still in bed, makes no attempt to come and cpomfort me or apologise.

I make kids breakfast then go upstairs.

Hes fast asleep.

I say 'DH will you get up, your not really supporting me after yesterday'

he looks at me and rolls over.

Hes still asleep up there

Ifeel really sick, i dunno whether Im ill or im just so sad.

Sorry if my typings crap, everythings crap, Ive had enough of him.

OP posts:
Disenchanted3 · 18/03/2009 07:51

And his grandad died at christmas and i was there for him 100% for as long as he needed me to be, I know my grandad hasn't passed but hes going to, very soon and its almost worse that I know that.

OP posts:
Disenchanted3 · 18/03/2009 07:53

caNT COME BACK FOR WHILE HES GETTING UP CAUSE ds RAN UP

OP posts:
PottyCock · 18/03/2009 07:54

That's really mean. Are you at home with the kids all day? How is your Grandad this morning?

rubyslippers · 18/03/2009 07:54

am not surprised you burst into tears

does he normally speak to you like that?

am sorry to hear about your grandad ... it is awful watching someone suffering

Disenchanted3 · 18/03/2009 08:01

He does.

OP posts:
Nabster · 18/03/2009 08:02

I am really sorry about your Grandad. How is he today?

I am not great today so ignore my suggestion to pour ice cold water all over your husband.

rubyslippers · 18/03/2009 08:07

i am sorry but your husband should not be speaking to you like that ever ....

i would tell him you are going out for a coffee and to have some time for yourself after yesterday and you are leaving the children with him

go out, switch your phone off

Disenchanted3 · 18/03/2009 08:08

I don't want to.

He sufferes from depression and anxiety but its no excuse.

I feel like my love is running out for him.

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 18/03/2009 08:09

you don't want to go out?

hmm - anxiety isn't an excuse to treat you like crap ...

is he getting treatment for it?

PottyCock · 18/03/2009 08:09

That's no justification for talking to you like that.

Disenchanted3 · 18/03/2009 08:10

Yes I dont want to go out. I dont want to speak to anyone.

He is getting treatment, lots.

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 18/03/2009 08:11

you sound so down

i know it is a cliche but a walk in the sunshine can blow the cobwebs away

can you talk to him - you are both feeling crappy and you both need a way out of it

rubyslippers · 18/03/2009 08:12

i am going to work now ... hope your day improves

Dior · 18/03/2009 08:19

He may have depression but that is no excuse for talking to you like that. I NEVER say things like that to my h when I am at my worst.

Dior · 18/03/2009 08:20

Also agree with going out. If you can afford it, take the kids out somewhere and leave him alone. Sunshine will make you feel much better and remind you that there are happy people out there! (Bear in mind that I am one of the miserable ones!)

Disenchanted3 · 18/03/2009 08:23

Its pissing it down here!

OP posts:
Dior · 18/03/2009 08:27

Oh dear! MAybe a sopft play centre then, with coffee and cake for you?

blinks · 18/03/2009 08:32

i can see why you burst into tears but there's no point crying, giving him silent treatment, hoping he will eventually see how hurt you are etc etc.

he's being a shit but don't be a martyr... stand up to him calmly but firmly.

don't stand for it.

'i won't accept being spoke to like that. if you continue to behave this way, you will have to face the consequences.'

don't tell him WHY he should be nice to you. you shouldn't have to. even though you don't mean to, you are sending the message that he can verbally abuse you and get away with it.

Disenchanted3 · 18/03/2009 11:33

Im not a weak person, i just feel weak today.

I would not usually take crap from him.

Mum has been called to hospital, doctors want to talk to her

OP posts:
poshsinglemum · 18/03/2009 11:48

He normally speaks to you like that? He's a tosser then. I'm not surprised you are upset. Mabe relate?

blinks · 18/03/2009 13:02

but you said he normally talks to you like that... why do you put up with that?

fingers crossed the news isn't too bad...x

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