I just dont know what to do anymore.

[4andnotout]

Last night i noticed a text on dp's phone as we have the same model phone i thought it was mine, picked it up and read it. It was just a text from the mobile network, but the next text caught my eye as it was phone sex and not from me. Low and behold he has been texting someone for phone sex, he claims it is just a chat line which apparently should make me feel better. I feel betrayed and hurt but he says he wont do it again, like he said it the last two times i have caught him out regarding sex lines. I just dont know what to do anymore, we have 4 little children who would be devestated if he left but i dont know if i can stand to be in the same house as him at the moment.
Sorry if this is rambling and full of spelling mistakes, im trying to bf dd4 as i type.

i am pretty liberal when it comes to porn and such

but if its my dh phoning up another woman to talk dirty to him whilst he has a wank...well..i don't think i wold feel so liberal anymore.

i don't know what negative sanctions i would impose and i dont know what to suggest, but i do want to validify the way that you are feeling as normal.

If it was just porn i wouldn't have a problem i dont mind the odd porn film myself, i rang the number from the texts before confronting him and it just rang and then went to a tesco mobile messaging service, so i didn't think it was a sex line as it was just an ordinary mobile number. Im so confused.

im confused too - hes saying its a sex line but its really another woman?

He says it is a sex line which you text which he saw in the local rag, but when i rang it it was just a normal line, so how would she get the revenue from the texts? The number looks just like an ordinary mobile number. I dont know how these things work, how they get the money etc

i think your being scammed by your dh

You've got to think of yourself and your lovely children.....if I were in your shoes my kids would also be absolutely devastated if DH and I split up but I would far rather they weren't within an environment where there is doubt in a relationship and the obvious stress that goes with that.

Follow your heart on this one. If you think its time to call it a day and considering the fact he's been caught out with this before then call it a day. He's the one making the calls, not you. xx

If he's using a text 'sex' line-it will be a premium number (£1 a text?) and it's not one woman he's talking to either-it's a huge cumputer system where the 'texters' log in on shift patterns and answer any texts that come through on their screen.The texts are answered by as they come in so it's not often you will get text the same customer (lots of men do this work too).

How do I know? I did a stint a few yrs ago to see if I could earn money from home (I lasted a few weeks btw,as the money was shockingly low and it wasn't for me).It's a scam imo.Ps make sure he texts 'stop' otherwise he will recieve texts which will cost him money trying to lure him to text back.

Hope you can work this out with your husband.

Poshwellies would it look like a regular mobile number or would it be just a short number?

I keep thinking how the kids will be devestated if we split up, it will be hard work with 4 little ones on my own etc etc and he is usually good, he doesn't beat me, keep me short of money etc but i just keep thinking about the txts over and over.

We have a holiday for next week, im thinking about us all going and see how i feel when we gwt back. He has promised to never do it again, but tbh he promised that last time, this time he has sworn on the babies life

Cant talk to my family as my parents would be gunning for him, i spoke to a friend and her husband about it last night and they made me see that it's not my fault and have offered support whatever i decide to do.

If only i had never picked up the bloody phone

I think the main text lines seem to be a shorter number say like 'text SEX to 89606' but don't quote me on that.

If it was in the local rag-you could try getting this weeks edition and checking the numbers (I would presume they would advertise weekly for business).

So sorry Olive