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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

sex after children did you find it more difficult to orgasm......

14 replies

mum2samandalex · 15/03/2009 21:20

i have no sex drive anymore because im always tired. But thr worse thing is i dont really climax anymore or if i do its just not the same. Most of the time i just get the build up to it and then it dies away before i actually climax. This obviously just leaves me deflated and less likely to want sex just wondering what i can to do to get it back or o how it was.

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 15/03/2009 21:24

omg yes! i thought it was just me being weird. but I totally get that whole build-up and then just nothing
will watch this with interest for any tips

AnyFucker · 15/03/2009 21:26

I don't have any tips as such, just to reassure you that if your dc are very young, it does come back

morningpaper · 15/03/2009 21:28

I found that my orgasms were a sort of echo of their former selves until things were more toned up

I suspect it was like noises bouncing off the walls of a giant cave

When things were more erm tight, orgasms improved muchly

thisisyesterday · 15/03/2009 21:31

oh no, so it's the old pelvic floor exercise thing is it???

Original poster

mum2samandalex · 15/03/2009 21:32

i have a 4 year old and 1 year old and strangely enough we started having sex again a few weeks after ds2 was born and i got it right back. Im not sure if this was because of nerve endings and blood flow to that area which helped but things soon died away again.

Because im so tired and not enjoying sex i just dont want to do it or feel like it. I want to for dh but for me its just a diappointment and id rather have sleep!!!

OP posts:

izyboy · 15/03/2009 21:33

Yep pelvic floor exercises I am afraid.

Original poster

mum2samandalex · 15/03/2009 21:35

Ha i knew dh was lying when he said i felt the same down there!!! I gave up on pelvic floor excercises because i thought im not weeing myself and dh cant tell the differnce!

How long did it take fr things to get back to normal?

OP posts:

izyboy · 15/03/2009 21:35

Sorry mum, I am not sure then, maybe it isnt a pelvic floor thing just tiredness.

izyboy · 15/03/2009 21:38

However I do think that p floor exercises are a lifelong job. I know I do not have the same intensity, but I am not religious about the exercises. Has it coincided with stopping breast feeding perhaps?

Original poster

mum2samandalex · 15/03/2009 21:41

i gave up bf about 6mths ago so thought that would help. I think dh would be too polite to tell me anyhow so will give the pvf a goand see what happens.

OP posts:

Nontoxic · 15/03/2009 21:46

Just thought I'd throw this in: if you're having a build up which dies away, okay it might be tiredness/ pelvic floor etc. but you might have a clitoral adhesion.
This is where the hood has adhered to the glans of the you know what and can't move about freely over it when stimulated. Sometimes pain is felt, sometimes arousal which comes to nothing.
I can't link properly on my itouch, but if you google it you might get a clue as to whether this is your problem.

noonki · 15/03/2009 21:48

oh never give up on the pelvic floors...even if you never have a vb!

TweetleBeetle · 15/03/2009 21:52

With DD1 things were actually better.

I had 3d degree tears and had to be stitched - was fab! Things not quite so good afther 2nd one - no tears = no stitching!!!!

However 2.5 years later I'm still knackered and sex drive is rather low, but when I'm up for it it is much better!

Come on I can;t be the only one!

monkeylaine · 23/03/2009 12:30

Hi. I'm new to this site and just reading through a few posts. I have this problem too. But right now have a few weeks to go before my 3rd baby is born. After a few weeks I'm going to use a thing called a kegel toner, which helps tone up pelvic floor. I try to do PV exercises but often forget. I haven't bought the kegel thing yet, but intend to. My mate used one and said it really helped her in all respects, including sex.

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