Everything in common, but I don't fancy him :(

[HopelessRomantic]

I've been seeing someone for the past few weeks. We have so much in common, we laugh at the same things, enjoy the same music, both like to travel and both want to see the same places...we had plans to take the kids (he has one and I have two) to the harry potter castle in easter, we both liked the sound of it, both looking forward to it ...

We even have the same quirky interests that we probably do not have in common with anyone else.

We would be perfect for each other ... but there is no attraction there for me I have tried to find him attractive and I know I'm shallow but I just do not find him physically attractive at all.

We could never just be friends because he has fallen for me big time and I feel awful, I have led him on because I do enjoy his company. I would like it to continue, but I know I could never fancy him.

What should I do?

have you slept with him yet?

No Anyfucker, I'm not sure I ever could Not even kissed him properly.

aww, doesn't sound like you could have a romantic r'ship with him then

could you salvage a friendship?

if not, might be kinder to just cut him loose...

If the spark isnt there now then i personally dont think it will ever be. and the longer it goes on the more painfull it will be for him. you need to have the lets just be friends chat. If you get on that well there is nothing to stop you still going to the places you have planned together. Just as friends.
And if you havnt even kissed yet then he may deep down already know the way you feel.

I have recently been in this situation - he is so right for me in so many ways, but I just dont fancy him.
I told him just friends, and he seems happy with that. We see each other quite a lot, and he is one of my best friends. But there is no relationship, and there (unless I get hopelessly drunk lol) never will be. Not sure how I would feel if he got a gf - that's usually the teller isnt it..
Makes me quite sad tho too, and I do kinda hope that one day I wake up and fancy the pants off him. But not yet

I would really like to remain friends with him but he has grown so 'obsessed'. I'm younger than him and I think he's always felt like an odd-ball, the geek that would never get the girl so to speak. So now that I've shown an interest and been out with him a few times, its like 'life-changing' for him. I'm not trying to big myself up, I'm certainly nothing special but he disagrees. He's joined a gym and everything.

It is my fault as I HAVE led him on. I know I have. It was just so nice to meet someone with so many common interests that I think I let myself get carried away

well, why not try the just friends chat, and if that doesnt improve things, then you will just have to cut him loose. But its worth a try first?

I was just like that with DH.. not an ounce of a spark at all.. but we got on so well.
it's just grew.. he was never my adonis, he was nothing like any previous man, or any I fancy. it grew from friends.

( ignore all knowledge you may have of our seperation etc.. we're separated.. if he behaved as a married man should.. this wouldn't be happening)

so my advise.. stay friends.. you never know.

I had this with an ex, he was like a soul mate but I just didnt fancy him. We stayed together 7 years but it ended when I met someone I did fancy. Shallow but human nature I think. You can't stop human instinct IMHO.

have a friend who went thru the same thing but felt that it actually worked out for her as they didn't get down to it too quickly
maybe this is where I've been going wrong lol

looks fade, but having so many things in common won't. Think you're right to keep it as just friends, but never say never. There is a lot to be said for someone having everything except for looks. I would have married Mickey Rourke in the 80s and look at how he turned out!

OMFG yes!
good point there beanie!!

Levels of attraction is key - does the thought of jumping into bed with him physically repulse you? in which case, you're probably NOT going to ever change your mind. But if it's more like, "mmm, well, I don't but I guess I could give it a try" then it might be worth it?

But otherwise, I agree with everyone else - if you really like this guy you might have to cut him loose as if he's really keen on you he's not going to find someone else as long as you're in his life?