just sitting looking at my ringless hand

[itsbeingsocheerful]

as an experiment to see what it looks like after 20 years. Just had yet another family row in which DD1, 15, suggested that if I'm so unhappy maybe I should just leave.

Think she's probably right, pretty sure she and the other 2 plus DH will feel more than a bit relieved. I know I've turned into a constant nag, but it doesn't seem to make any difference.

So I suppose my question is: Do I expect too much of them and too little of me? I work three days a week in the office - when I get home really late as work is a two commute away - and at least two at home but do the lions share of the housework and all of the family diary-keeping etc.

DH, who works longer hours on his own business, has never arranged a holiday, break, birthday party.

I feel like a drudge and insignificant at home, made worse by the feeling of being respected and integral in my reasonably senior job.

So I hope you wise women will forgive my first-time and rather long intrusion, and help me decide my next step? I really have no idea what to do next

I don't tend to iron his clothes, any more, but did for many years. I'm also cutting down on the amount of ironing I do for DD1 as well.

Trouble is he doesn't notice and seems quite happy just to iron the odd shirt as and when he needs it. As he works for himself he doesn't need loads of ironed shirts. And if his t-shirts need ironing he'll just put a jumper over the top.

He also knows that MY mum who visits every 6 months or so, lives way oop north, will iron all the stuff I've left. I've asked her not to, but she says 'she won't take sides'.

That seems to be part of the problem, he doesn't notice when I've spent the morning on housework, thinks nothing of leaving stuff like empty envelopes wherever he opened them, or treating every surface as a dumping ground. It drives me mad, but he just doesn't seem to understand why.

BTW I still haven't put my rings back on, and he's not said a thing. Either not noticed or doesn't care