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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Completely and utterly hysterical, dont know what to do

20 replies

FrostyTheSnowgirl · 15/03/2009 09:45

My little boy is at his dads for the weekend and we haven't been gettin on at all lately, he messes with my head saying he wants back with me then being a completely nasty prick the next minute.

I've been suffering from bad depression and I was in a bad way last night and i text him saying I couldnt go on like this and that i felt like ending it.

he rang me and was completely pissed and he either had my son and was drunk, or had left him with his sister and gone out (this happens every week even tho he took me to court for overnight access). I was understandably annoyed by this so I asked where ds was and he started saying im a shit mum and its none of my business where ds is and that he's going to take him off me and not bring him home today.

I can't stop crying, im out of my mind with worry I don't know what to do

OP posts:
beanieb · 15/03/2009 09:46

can you contact his sister? What time is he due to bring him back?

Original poster
FrostyTheSnowgirl · 15/03/2009 09:48

not until 6, ive spoken to her but I don't think she has him, she'll stick up for him anyway

OP posts:
Nabster · 15/03/2009 09:50

Can you get a big male friend to go round and check on your DS?

Surfermum · 15/03/2009 09:55

I'm sorry you feel so worried about your little boy. He was drunk, remember, so probably doesn't even remember what he said to you, let alone be planning to keep your ds. And I expect he was reacting defensively to you asking where your ds was.

Is there anyone else that can support you when you feel low? It doesn't sound like he is the best person to be texting when you feel like that.

Original poster
FrostyTheSnowgirl · 15/03/2009 09:57

no i know it was stupid to text, I think I just wanted him to know how ill all this makes me. He knows he was breaking contact order by being out so that will be why he's lashing out at me, I'm just so tired of feeling this awful

OP posts:
Original poster
FrostyTheSnowgirl · 15/03/2009 10:14

is being depressed a reason that a court would take my son away from me?

OP posts:
Hassled · 15/03/2009 10:28

No, they won't take your boy away because you're depressed - if he's neglected because of your depression that might be different, but that's clearly not the case. So relax about that.

Are you getting help re the depression? Even if you are, it might be time to go back to your GP to review treatment etc - you don't have to be feeling this low.

Original poster
FrostyTheSnowgirl · 15/03/2009 10:31

i was ok, i came off my ads about 6 months ago, ive only been like this since he's started again

OP posts:
Original poster
FrostyTheSnowgirl · 15/03/2009 16:05

I have had him on the phone all day saying im a "fucking idiot". So I said that if he continues to contact me I'll be going to my solicitor in the morning to sort out an arrangement since he's incapable of sticking to the one we have . I have a court order for reasonable contact so I just don't know what to do for the best as this situation isnt doing anyone any good

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 15/03/2009 16:14

Even with overnight granted, why is he breaking his contact order if he goes out and leaves the child with a babysitter??

Coldtits · 15/03/2009 16:15

If you think he's drunk in charge of your small child, I'm sure you can call the police up and exlain the situation to them. Obviously not 999 but a local call to your local station and explain how scared you are that your ds is being neglected - they'll be able to advise you what to do

Nabster · 15/03/2009 16:16

I can't help thinking I would have gone and got him by now.

Original poster
FrostyTheSnowgirl · 15/03/2009 16:18

I really don't know, he only has him once a fortnight one night, and he can't stay in. It was obvious that it was his parents wanting access from the beginning but I don't see the need for him to stay with them once a fortnight, he isnt their child

OP posts:
Original poster
FrostyTheSnowgirl · 15/03/2009 16:20

i know but I don't want a big showdown with him infront of my ds. he has to be home by 6 on the dot or i will get the police involved then. he has a way of twisting things around like he's going to ake my son away because I'm depressed, but the depression is caused by him to begin with

OP posts:
CarGirl · 15/03/2009 16:25

Why don't you talk to your exes parents and arrange for them to have your ds overnight. You will look the bigger person and you know they will take care of your ds better than your ex?

Original poster
FrostyTheSnowgirl · 15/03/2009 16:32

They have him anyway but I'd rather he didnt go at all, his mum is an alcoholic and they have a very volatile relationship.

I've just found a picture on facebook of him the the pub yesterday with a clock in the background sayng 7.45pm. My ds is in his care from 4.30pm

OP posts:
FlyMeToDunoon · 15/03/2009 16:43

Evidence! Save that.

CarGirl · 15/03/2009 17:13

Completely understand about the in laws in that case!

SerendipitousHarlot · 15/03/2009 19:41

Any news? Is ds home?

Original poster
FrostyTheSnowgirl · 15/03/2009 20:58

yes he brought him home 15 mins late, then acted like nothing had happened

OP posts:
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