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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

help im stuck with what to do!

1 reply

ally39 · 13/03/2009 14:44

I moved to a new town with my partner and my daughter, who is now 20 and moved out , due to other problems, I married my partner 6years ago and we have an 8 yr old were in loads of debt he has a full time job I work part-time from home, I love him and it would devastate all of us if we separated, but recently I?ve been feeling lonely, he never shows me affection, won?t help me decorate, there?s no conversation, But it would kill me if he was with someone else, And I want to go to live back near my family but he won?t move because of work, (even though it would be only an hour and half journey every morning if I did go back) and doesn?t want his son brought up there, my son adores him and is settled in his school, yet the parents at the school seem not to speak to anyone who are not originally from this area, and are generally odd people , he has two sisters and I?ve ended up rowing with them over different things in the past, they think they come before me, and my children and would expect him to drop everything for them, And he did and when I complained it caused massive rows and things would get smashed and I would chuck him out and he would always say blood is thicker than water, meaning I?m nothing, he would never stick up for me. In any situation, Yet he said he couldn?t live without me and we ended up getting married. None of his family came to the wedding.
Anyway two nights ago I wanted to watch something on TV so I said I?m watching a programme at 9pm, and he said you?re not watching that on my TV, (I bought the TV, I pay for the sky) and we ended up rowing over a TV programme and he?s been sleeping on the sofa ever since, So I said that I would cancel all the sports on sky, and I rang up the next day and asked how much it would be without the sports, and did not cancel it, when I came home later in the evening he said to me, what gave you the higher authority to cancel sky sports, but I never, so I had to ring them up and sort it out, yet he said that obviously I cancelled it, yet he heard the conversation I had with the sky people. So now he?s sleeping on the sofa. After his rant.
I?m sick of being made to feel like I?m 4 years old, I?m nearly 40 fgs. I?m not one of his staff who he can boss around, I earn my own money, and even though with the debts we struggle we have a fairly decent life, My son gets everything, I give money to my daughter to help her out. Im constantly feeling un welcome in my own home, my son is really close to his dad and he is a good dad, and i know that if i left my son wouldn?t want to come with me.
Am I being stupid, should I end this marriage and go back, or should I make it work?

Sorry its so long!

OP posts:
ally39 · 13/03/2009 17:39

Oh and i forgot to add, he smokes dope everyday even at work, and he also about 4 years ago he punched me in the face and smashed my cheekbone, but stupidly i took him back after the court case, and he's never hit me since, nor do we have major rows until recently. Im just thinking that everythings going to get much worse and i feel i should go back,nearer to my family. Im sick of feeling like im a single parent. Am i wasting my life?

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