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Original poster

This is how to tackle the no kids at weddings imo

31 replies

Nabster · 12/03/2009 17:29

We have had a letter to say children are not being invited to the wedding and why. We have been given plenty of notice to sort out child care and while I am disappointed, I am pleased we know in plenty of time.

OP posts:

MinaLoy · 12/03/2009 17:32

Yes that sounds sensible. I know we'll invited to one in September and I'm secretly hoping it'll be a no-children affair. Babysitting will be complicated to fix up but if we manage it, it'll be a very rare treat for me...

PlumBumMum · 12/03/2009 17:37

To be completely honest I never expect my dcs to be invited but then I was brought up in a family in which children were never invited to wedding and it was always an adult affair

Doha · 12/03/2009 18:27

When l was young there was a family wedding to which only immediate families children where invited..

My sister and l were not invited as we were both adopted so not "real family" Needless to say my mum and dad didn't go either

Original poster

Nabster · 12/03/2009 18:29

that is terrible.

OP posts:

Aimsmum · 12/03/2009 18:31

Message withdrawn

PlumBumMum · 12/03/2009 19:11

thats awful Doha

RubyRioja · 12/03/2009 19:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PuppyMonkey · 12/03/2009 19:15

If you go to a wedding without kids, which I wouldn't actually zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, who does the obligatory skidding along the dance floor on your knees? The adults?

Original poster

Nabster · 12/03/2009 19:15

No childcare so only option is Dh to go on his own. Either way will be buying a fabulous present.

OP posts:

muggglewump · 12/03/2009 19:18

My brother hasn't invited me to his wedding, the only family member who isn't invited as I'm a single parent with no childcare. He hasn't explained either, he left that up to our Dad.

I'm not arsed at not going, I couldm't really afford it anyway but to not even speak to me is rude and makes me feel like a reject.

Original poster

Nabster · 12/03/2009 19:19

Which is why the lovely letter we received today is the way to go , imo.

I am sorry your brother is being such a pain.

OP posts:

Hulababy · 12/03/2009 19:35

Although not keen on the idea myself and can;t see the appeal personally, I have no problem with people choosing to have a child free wedding so long as they also accept that there may be some guests who are unable to attend as a result.

Ozziegirly · 13/03/2009 00:34

I was fairly anti children at my wedding - only because I didn't really "know" my cousins that well to be honest, plus I fancied myself as having a super smart upmarket wedding

Anyway, my parents made me have them there, and they were wonderful! They danced, which encouraged everyone to dance, they were well behaved and looked cute dressed up, and everyone commented on how lovely they were.

I have also, since then, made much more of an effort to get to know them all, and some have now come out to see me in Oz and I keep up to date with how they are getting on in school etc.

It really made me see (as a childless person) that children weren't all about the screaming and tantrumming but could actually (gasp) be fun and enjoyable to be around...

Miamla · 13/03/2009 00:40

we've just been invited to a friend's wedding and i assumed DS was welcome. it was only when i was chatting to another friend that i realised children weren't welcome. Her invitation had a long paragraph about why they weren't welcome etc. I'm rather confused as she doesn't have kids and was told they weren't welcome. Whereas we do and we weren't
hey ho, i've now written another card to the happy couple telling them that my acceptance card should be ignored and that we now can't go!
DS is only 7mths old and in order to go to the wedding we'd be 5hrs away from him. its not happening!

NotQuiteCockney · 13/03/2009 07:57

The thing is, babes in arms are a quite different proposition to larger children.

I like weddings with kids at them, but I can understand why people might not want kids. But babies are much less noisy, much less mobile, and much harder for people to find sitters for.

But presumably people find it easier to say 'no kids' than to say 'babies ok, but please take them out if they start howling, no larger kids please'.

Blondeshavemorefun · 13/03/2009 10:42

if you wanted to go nabster - could you arrange childcare with a babysitter/relative etc?

doha that is awful

dizzydixies · 13/03/2009 10:46

doha I understand exactly, I too was adopted and my 'aunt' made me sit at a seperate table in the kitchen with newspaper on the floor whilst the family meal went on next door. Needless to say we only stayed as we'd driven 2hrs to get there and we never went back after that - some people are just idiots

miamla thats very odd indeed

Miamla · 13/03/2009 10:52

i really hope that the practise of making adopted children feeling unwelcome has gone out of fashion. that's awful

Original poster

Nabster · 13/03/2009 11:23

Blondes We have no one to have the kids as the people who would will be at the wedding.

OP posts:

traceybath · 13/03/2009 11:27

miamla i'd double check but perhaps your ds is invited because he's to little??

geordieminx · 13/03/2009 11:33

We are getting married in october - no kids apart from ds Its mainly down to numbers/location. we are limited to 40, dp's 2 cousins both have 3 under 8, in a small posh hotel its just not do-able. We arent having a night reception - just a trip to local casino. Does this make us bad people?

Nabs - what does the letter say? (((((looking for inspiration)))))))

dizzydixies · 13/03/2009 11:36

geordie am not sure (as a mother of 3 myself) that I'd want the kids in a posh hotel or going to a casino

are you close to dp's cousins kids? this is where my problem lies. I think children of family who are seen often should be invited if circumstances allow but friends who's kids can be left with relatives etc don't need to be invited unless you want them there

as long as people are sensible then it shouldn't be this much of an issue.

Original poster

Nabster · 13/03/2009 12:12

georgie - it is basically because the reception isn't child friendly for playing.

OP posts:

Miamla · 13/03/2009 12:13

traceybath.. the best man has got a baby a bit younger than DS and he's been told that he can't go. again, it didn't say on their invite though!
friend who did have "no kids" in invite is a teacher so perhaps its groom saying "don't bring your class with you!"

solidgoldbrass · 13/03/2009 12:22

I am appalled at this mistreatment of adopted children. What kind of demented primitive backwaters did these horrid people live in?
I was adopted as a baby more than 40 years ago and no one would have dreamed of treating me and my family like this.

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