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Original poster

Is love at first sight possible and can it last?

32 replies

lovesick · 11/03/2009 16:52

Can't give many details as I am in a very delicate situation,, but wondered if anyone had any experience of this? I have had online chats with someone on another forum who I considered a good friend, met him for the first time at the weekend and I experienced something akin to being hit by a bolt of lightning. I don't know how he feels yet, though he gave strong hints, but the only thing I can compare it too was when I looked at my firstborn in the moments after he was born, and felt that I knew him and he couldn't have been other than he was, a sort of instant recognition of him. It was that intense, I don't trust this emotion yet for various reasons and I am playing it as friends but hoping for more. Any experiences would be welome I have hardly slept or eaten since I met him and it is a bit frightening. He is physically not my usual type in most ways, but I am dazzled by him, I can't imagine anyone else being right for me now.

OP posts:
compo · 11/03/2009 16:53

are either of you married? if not why not give it a go?

solidgoldbrass · 11/03/2009 16:55

Have you not had sex for a while? Is your delicate situation to do with being in a supposedly monogamous (but unsatisfactory) relationship with someone else?
TBH you are having a bit of a hormone rush, it's not uncommon. Enjoy the excitements, if you like (and if I have got this wrong and both you and he are single, then enjoy the rest of it) but don't take it too seriously because it's no big deal. He is just another human being.

Original poster
lovesick · 11/03/2009 16:55

No neither married, but there are many other issues that I can't go into. It is not as simple as giving it a go, or I would have gone for it so to speak.

OP posts:
compo · 11/03/2009 16:56

don't really get why you started chatting to him then and then met him if your not up for a relationship

Original poster
lovesick · 11/03/2009 16:57

I can't really explain because it might identify me, but it is not a question of either us not being up for a relationship. Baggage.

OP posts:
DegreesMinutesSecondsIsMale · 11/03/2009 16:59

Putting aside your situation, and focussing on the questions. Yes and Yes - at least for twenty years so far.

fourkids · 11/03/2009 16:59

yes and yes

solidgoldbrass · 11/03/2009 17:00

Well, sorry, but can't offer a lot of advice then. Because I don't know what the actual problem is.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 11/03/2009 17:00

Go for it. DH and I met at a work do, woke up the next morning in each others arms and decided to get married.

4.5 years later we are married with a 7 month old DS and our relationship gets better every day.

My only word of caution would be that for me it was less a lightening bolt (although the sex was great, and still is when we find the time and energy!), and more of a feeling like coming home. That sounds immensley corny but 'tis true.

GetOrfMoiLand · 11/03/2009 17:00

To be honest i experienced the same kind of thing when I met DP for the first time. I felt like i had been hit with a cricket bat, to me DP sort of glowed (oh god people are now going to take the piss now I have admitted such things )

I don't know whether I could call it love at first sight, neither was it just lust - however you probably could call it that as we were in bed together about 4 hours later ). It was an absolutely shocking experience and I have never felt it before or since. The feeling developed into what I would call real love after a couple of weeks.

Me and DP are still together and are extremely happy 95% of the time. So it can last. However, please consider all the difficulties before you go jumping in is all I would say.

compo · 11/03/2009 17:00

oh okay, well maybe take things very slowly, get to know each other really well and follow your head as well as your heart? sorry, that sounds a bit trite! he sounds great though, maybe it is time to go for someone who isn't your usual type?

boudoiricca · 11/03/2009 17:00

Yes.

It's LUST.

Pure and simple.

I have experienced it. I have acted on it (when free and single and able to do so).

BUT I do not consider this kind of crazy chemical madness to be the solid basis for any kind of relationship. I knew the man I felt it for did not have the qualities I needed in a life partner. So we had some fun, then I moved on.

Don't be fooled into thinking it is necessarily any more than that...

Original poster
lovesick · 11/03/2009 17:01

That is good to hear , I am a rational level headed person as a rule, this kind of thing doesn't happen to me.

OP posts:
Lulumama · 11/03/2009 17:02

had this with DH, we are still happily married and have been together 12 years.

Fimbo · 11/03/2009 17:02

Dh & I got together about 6 weeks after I had been dumped by my live in partner (pre children though).

I truly never expected to fall for someone else so quickly. We have been together for 16 years now and married for 13 of those and have 2 dc. He apparently told someone I worked with (we met through work) that we would get married about 2 weeks after we got together.

Doha · 11/03/2009 17:03

yes- our thunderbolt hit hard aged 18 and still together after 25 years. Just gets better

Go for it girl

Original poster
lovesick · 11/03/2009 17:04

Getorfmyland so would I have been if it wasn't for all the difficulties , compo thanks that is my feeling. I really just wanted to know whether others had experienced something like this and what the outcome had been.

OP posts:
MrsTittleMouse · 11/03/2009 17:05

I've had it twice. I am married to neither person, and very glad of it. It can work out well but it certainly isn't a golden ticket for happily ever after.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 11/03/2009 17:05

goodness that's quite intense stuff
haven't experienced that on meeting a man for the first time
but have experienced the sense of knowing a man all my life despite knowing him for a short time
It is a very intense feeling for sure it literally blew me away
Enjoy the feeling,why not?

solidgoldbrass · 11/03/2009 17:07

Well, in general, this is something that happens to peope a fair bit. But about half the time, it only happens to one of the people. SOmetimes the other person is prepared to go along with it, for a while or even longer (their take on it being somewhere between 'Well, I might as well get a shag here' and 'Well, everyone's got to pairbond some time, this one is so keen that s/he will probably do'). SOmetimes the other person runs away and takes out a restraining order.
If by a fortunate coincidence both people experience a strong physical attraction at a time in their lives when both are seeking out a pairbonding situation, then usually a 'serious relationship' ensues. Though it can still be derailed if one is a knob/abuser/liar/addict/James Blunt fan.

GetOrfMoiLand · 11/03/2009 17:07

I would say go for it, as long as you are not potentially hurting anyone else (e.g. other partners).

Me and DP had some hurdles, main one being he lived 150 miles away and was about to move to Germany. We also had a child each. All issues overcome and I am so delighted that I met him. Good luck.

Original poster
lovesick · 11/03/2009 17:09

No partners involved at all but some of the many issues are distance and DC's

OP posts:
Doha · 11/03/2009 17:12

Both issues NOT insurmountable (soory can't spell)

boudoiricca · 11/03/2009 17:18

Hmmm... OK - clearly I'm way more cynical than the rest of you!

Thinking about it, when I met DP (who I believe is The One (tho' that's a whole other thread) - and if such a thing even exists) I knew from first eye meet that there was a strong connection between us. And that thought was confirmed and enhanced by then sitting and chatting until 2am.

The zingy electrical groin connection that I had experienced before was there, but this was somehow more complete and cerebral...

fourkids · 11/03/2009 17:23

those who would say 'no' to the original question can only do so because it hasn't happened to them...and you can only be sure something is the case because it HAS happened to you - you can't be certain it ISN'T the case just because you haven't experienced it...you can have an opinion or even have hope, but not certainty...iyswim

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