would you politely ignore mil's huffs of disapproval

[bigboydiditandranaway]

If i say or do something hat she doesn't approve of or like she literally huffs after i have said/done something.

I have always been polite and ignored her but it really gets on my nerves.

As the last visit was very strained due to mad aunty making an offensive comment to dh & i, which dh later complained to his mum about. i just feel on guard that she will be looking to put me down in some way or another - this is what usually happens when we stand up to them

What would you do?

Ignore it - totally. Nothing gets on the nerves of someone trying to make you react to them more than refusing to play their game

Make it a game, and bet with DH on the number of huffs you will get per visit to take your mind off being annoyed

I agree, she does this deliberately to get a rise out of you. Does your DH see her doing this? My mum is the same. But, she's calculating with it. She makes snide comments and huffs and tuts when she know's other people aren't witness to it. So that when you've finally reached your limit with her bad bahaviour and react - then everybody see's your reaction but not the cause. She then behaves like the victim. Luckily, it took quite a few years but we all (family members) became wise to her little game and made it clear that we weren't going to play along with it anymore. It's been 3 years since we all told her straight - and we haven't gone back on this. The bad behaviour still rears it's head occasionally - but nowhere near as often as it used to be.
If anyone is going to pick her up on this and "put her in her place" it has to be your DH as she's HIS mum.
Good luck. Crap isn't it! Some day's it's easier to bite your tongue and remember they're the one with the problem. Don't make it your problem - make it stay firmly on her shoulders to deal with alone.

Why don't you just do what teachers do to children in class? Say 'sorry?' or 'pardon?' and see what she says. If you can pretend well enough you thought she was saying something she'll either get embarrassed or annoyed. Either way it should work!!

Thanks for the advice and insight, i can't believe that i've stewed over her huffs for so long.

Why on earth would someone do stuff like this just to get arise out of you, it really is sad and pathetic isn't it. What with her doing her huffs and fil passing snide comments just to stir up trouble, it's just mad, you'd think as pil they would be more eager to be nice and caring, but dh didn't have a very good childhood because of them so i can't really hope for them to be like that.

Have shown dh your messages and he thinks ms is brill for advice, thanks.

Why don't you ask her, in a very concerned fashion, if she's becoming asthmatic, as she seems to be wheezing a lot whenever you see her? Though slightlyonedgemum's idea is probably better.

Second the faux-serious concern re her airways.

Big boy .....You might have seen my thread on my own MiL and I some great advice over there too. I'm coming to the conclusion that we shouldn't ignore these things, and should give as good as we get. Next time she does it, just be blunt and say "what are you huffing for now [you stupid bitch]" - last part optional . She won't expect that. MiL's are bullies (not all though). They think they're the only ones to have ever given birth and raised children so the rest of us are mere charlatans in their eyes.

Thanks for your brill suggestions, i do like the false testh and asthmatic ones!