Frenemies... when is a friend not a friend...?

[minko]

I saw a 'friend' of mine yesterday. I met her through the toddler group a couple of years ago and was very grateful for her friendship as I didn't know anyone in the area. However, she lives in a big house (much bigger than ours), her boys now go to private school (DD is at a state school) and obviously her husband earns much more than mine. Now I can happily live with all that, but she just can't seem to help herself with showing off. Whilst we are together we appear to be having a good time, but when she's gone I remember all her little soundbites about how they're buying a Porsche, and how her DH just secured a big new contract (along with how much more pay he'll get etc), how much her flash haicut cost, and how her son is 'gifted' and it wears me down.

I think I am just someone for her to look down on and make herself feel better. Why would someone do that?? I feel like a fool for being sucked into this and need to get out. It depresses me that I am being used.

I am still shocked that anyone can be like this. What is it - insecurity?

Thanks everyone there's a real balance in opinion. And that's fair enough because I don't really know what the answer is. Yes, of course I am a bit jealous of her fab house and what have you. It's just that she has to tell me the price of everything from school fees, to haircuts to holidays - and she knows it's all way out of my league. So maybe she's just tactless. But at worse I feel she is using me to big herself up and as it's been going on for a while - and I have given her the benefit of the doubt numerous times - I now feel it is her with the problem not me!

My instinct is to back away and leave her alone. The way she talks about other (quite lowly) friends is not good either, though she is in awe of the rich mummies at the school...

does she really tell you how much she pays for a haircut

she sounds boring, ditch her

Yeah - 90 quid! And she just has lank long hair!

Sorry, I'm just bitching now!

ilove the thread title.

the bottom line has to be that you're not enjoying her company so it's not a healthy friendship, i've had to 'drift away' from 'friendships' that were more work than fun

if you're left feeling deflated after spending time with her, she's not right for you, spend your precious time with people you really like!

Thank you. My opinion too. She has her moments of being fun, but they are outweighed by the deflated feeling that often follows!

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