should we seperate?

[newmummy27]

i just cant make that decision. I am scared of being on my own but i do think i have the strength to get out of this awful marriage. my husband is being awful. i do have pnd but was feeling better and he drags me back down he calls me crazy and unstable how i wont cope on my own, how i wont have any support, i dont have any real friends (i do by the way. how no-on will want me.i work PT and look after 15 month old the rest of the time. he doesnt give me any money, although he does pay for mortagage and some bills.i feel let down and feel such HATE. i dont want to feel this way, but he is really awful. we are going to relate but he blames everything on me. my mum and dad get annoyed and angry if i mention splitting up and how things would be even harder. i have a holiday from work and he was literally foaming at the mouth shouting at me because i havent done any ironing. i have done the rest of the house top to bottom this week. i am so sad and alone. teel me what you would do/have done if you have been in this situation. i feel so alone. :-(

Poor you, you sound so down. I don't have much advice I'm afraid but my view has always been that if a relationship is making your more unhappy than happy and you have tried to fix it and it isn't working then it's time to think about moving on.

I hope things get better for you.

BlameItOnTheBogey is right. You seem to have tried as hard as you can, and you're still unhappy. Sometimes you just have to call it quits and move on. You will cope on your own - it will be hard practically, but emotionally life will be easier without all this, and that will give you the strength to keep going.

Mayb start making some leaving plans - look at what you could afford to rent, go to entitledto.com to work out what benefits you'd get - it doesn't mean you have to go through with the plans, but at least your options will be clearer.

newmummy big MN hugs to you first of all
this reads very like my situ.when I was married tbh.
I struggled on unhappy for a few years til I realised for my own sanity that I couldn't go on any longer,that was after the obv.beating myself up over the effect that the divorce would have on the dcs.
in your case at least your child is young enough not to be badly affected if at all by the divorce
One thing you can do for yourself is to maybe have a think back to the last time that you were both truly happy together
I imagine that like me you would probably struggle to find that answer tbh,but really that example sums up what's wrong with your marriage
Regarding how you'll cope on your own,you just will really for one thing you'll feel happy and that feeling is priceless believe me!
But do get in touch with your family law solicitor who will prob.offer you a free 1/2 hour appt.to clarify where you stand
From what you say you will prob.qualify for legal aid too

thank you. asbm, you are right i cant think of the last time we were happy together, maybe on honeymoon 4 yrs ago. no sex now for 2 years and he thinks making an effort is coming to sleep in the same bed as me every now and again.i am depressed, i know i am when i am not around him though i am better, the thought of coming home is like walking into a black hole.

You need to find time to do something that makes you happy. This might be one night a week with your friends. Or it might be take up running. Everybody needs something that they enjoy.

Your H sounds awful to be honest. What does the relate counselor say when he blames everything on you?

that was a simple thing that was said to me by a friend who had also been thru divorce
the very fact that I couldn't answer straight off and had to stop and think of a specific time said it all really
regarding your parents yes they will be sad and poss.angry but bear in mind that they do see things differently poss.because of the generation gap etc
mine urged me to seek counselling but by that point I realised that there was nothing to save
it is a horrible situ.to find yourself in and i wouldn't wish it on anyone
but i am a firm believer in life being for living and it's your life after all you can't live it to please others