Going to bed at different times - do you compromise?

[smurfgirl]

This is petty.

If you and DH have different natural bed times how much do you compromise for each other?

I will stay up late given the chance and he is hankering for bed any time after 9. I will sometimes go earlier with him because he pesters asks. He never stays up with me which is starting to annoy.

I just feel like a 25 year old man with no children and nothing to do the next day can manage to stay up lateish on a couple of nights at the weekend.

He refused to watch a film with me tonight because it finished after midnight. We have an expensive TV in our bedroom that we rarely watch anything on because if we turn it on after 9 he is immediately huffing and puffing about being tired.

I know this is so ridiculous but it grates. I think its part of a wider thing as well - he will go out with his mates until after midnight but won't stay up with me.

He won't drink alcohol at home with me either or if we go out for a meal, he will only drink pints when he is out with friends. I am getting sidetracked here!

I am a terrible lazyarse bedmonster. I LURVE going to bed at 9pm, but then I am not a childless 25yo with no early start.

DH was night bird when he met me, he would frequently stay up until 1-2am on a weeknight. I soon wore him down, he is now more of a pussy sleepyhead than me and quite often is gagging to curl up before I am. For instance, he is snoring next to me and has been for one and a half hours, so far.

When I go out with mates I obv stay out later than my normal bedtime but it is different in that I'm not on my bum on the comfy sofa in my pants eating pizza. [not making much sense]

My dh is normally in bed a few hours before me - not long after dcs tbh - but that's because he's up at 4 am (sometimes earlier) to go to work.

I usually make an effort on one weeknight to go to bed early and he'll stay up later if he's isn't working the next day even if it means he's dropping off on the couch rather than sitting chatting/cosying up with a movie.

Sounds like there are more issues than just bedtimes tbh - if not, is it really worth worrying about.

I have recently gone to bed before dd1 and dd2.......left them up finishing watching a film!! Ages14 and 12......it's bad when you're in bed before the DC!!

I have to stay up after DH otherwise he falls asleep.

We had a night out last week without DS and stayed in a very nice hotel.

I made fatal mistake of going to bed first and DH had to be helped to our room by hotel staff as he fell asleep immediately I left him. Clearly I have riveting conversation

I don't think it's a problem in real life unless you just don't talk or connect. Sleep is sleep.

Smurfgirl, I am like your DH!

I have not been up past 930pm this week.

However I have 13 month old DD and am very tired, and 31

Last night my DH did complain and call me boring (!) but he tends to watch TV, I read. I am happy (very) to read in bed.

We went out last Saturday night with friends, I drank lots and went in to party mode and insisted we stay out until 2am. I am still paying the price.

I can not put a film on after 8pm as I know I will fall to sleep.

However I think your Dh should make the effort once the week as presumably he can have a lie in?

People tend either to be larks or owls, and it's something that everyone finds very hard to alter in themselves.
However, if your DH will socialise happily with his mates but not with you then maybe you need to have a chat about things.

DH is a night owl, I'm a bed by 10pm girl. It works fine for us, I don't resent him staying up and he doesn't mind me going to bed early.

I don't see why it needs to be a problem

Maybe the solution is for you to go out together?

I very rarely drink within the house either, maybe one glass of wine a night at the weekends but 6 or 7 if out , dont really know why.

My bloke would happily stay up later than me but we tend to go to bed together as to me that's one of the pluses of being married, those close hugs and chats together in bed before going to sleep. Also he has to get up earlier than me and is horrible grumpy if he stays up as long as he wants to. We probably both compromise a bit by going somewhere in the middle.
I don't think I'd want to be married to someone who thought going to bed at the same time as me wasn't important, might as well have seperate bedrooms in that case, at least then you don't wake the early bedder up.

I go to bed earlier than dh most nights. His job starts late and finishes late and so he finds it hard to wind down by the time I go to bed.

Must admit, it has never bothered me. I love having the bed to myself.

Is there a reason it's annoying you?

I'm a night owl, mainly cos i work till 10pm and by the time i come in and have something to eat i'm wide awake

OH usually hits the sack about an hour after i come in, and i do sometimes go up with him, but mainly he goes off to bed and i'm quite happy to have a little me time while its nice and quiet

I don't think its petty at - I hate going to bed separately. I also don't think it should be too much to ask your dh to stay up til, say, 11 ish once a week and maybe go to bed early with him sometimes as well

I do understand not drinking at home though - I just never really fancy it (but will happily drink when out). Can you go out together more often ? (whilst you still have chance )

DH and I just about always go to bed together, although sometimes I pass out on the sofa while he watches telly/surfs the net next to me. He often naps on his train home and I don't get a nap. I love that we go to bed together at the same time and kind of feel the same way as 2rebecca.

Dh and I don't go to bed at the same time on hte whole.

Agree with solidgoldbrass re only socialising with his mates though.